People who know what they know. . .

Did a road trip from Houston to Bumf*%k, LA (central LA) last week with a coworker. 

I get along really well with this coworker and he used to be in my department.  Anyways, he's venting about how one of the guys in my department doesn't have common sense.  Well, yeah, he's mostly right, but it's not like my coworker who is on the trip with me is that much different.  Just a different perspective on what is common sense.

He drove from Houston to BF, LA.  About a 3-4 hour drive.  Once you leave Houston, it's mostly two lane highway, but where posted speed limits are in the 60-75 mph range.   Along this highway, there are driveways to individual proprties, subdivisions, etc.  Since everyone is doing the speedlimit or higher, most of the locals signal way before their turn.  If it's a right turn, maybe 100 yards before their driveway, they go into the shoulder, slow down, and make the turn.  It was pretty common and something one would assume would be pretty easy to pick up on.  But not my worker.  After seeing this like a dozen times already, we see the right blinker go on, the guy goes into the shoulder well before his turn, and my coworker comments "where's he going?  why is he pulling over so far away from his drive way?". . . Uh. . .  Then when we make a pit stop on a place on the right side, he doesn't do the go into shoulder thing, but jams on the brakes maybe 20 yards before and makes the turn.  A local beeped at him at least once and my coworker was like, "what was that about?".

Our hotel in Houston has a guard in a golf cart at the entrance to the parking lot.  He's situated in the middle of the driveway, but maybe 20 yards in.  So pretty apparent that you come in and pass the guard on the driver's side.  And on the way out, you do the same.  No.  On the way out, my coworker goes such that we pass the guard on the passenger side.  He cuts the corner of the entry drive way.  Ok, not that bad when it's like 11 pm and no one is coming in, but he does that when we were leaving at around 2 pm one day and when another car is coming in.  He sees the car coming in, swerves to the right and almost hits the guard. . . 

Maybe he's just a shitty driver?

How do I resist giving a big ole "Wop Yo Jaws" to a know-it-all coworker? 

At work, we are grouped into specific disciplines.  Most of our groups run/manage projects whereas some groups are only supports (review and advice on their technical expertise) since they are deemed to "valuable and specialized" to bog them down with managing projects.  One of the groups has a signature block that their manager needs to sign in order to get the chief engineer to sign to allow a project to go out for solicitation.  This group is notorious for being "I ruled this way, you have to prove I'm wrong to change my mind".  In many cases, the code is silent on many things in order to leave things up to designer discretion and judgement.  This group takes things as "if the code doesn't explicitly allow it, it's not allowed".  Anyways. . .

I'm managing this one large project and my support for the "notorious" group rules something that I feel is pretty unreasonable.  His ruling was to incorporate a requirement that is NOT stated in the code based on his interpretation of the code.  While not my subject expertise, the way I read the code was that it was silent on it, therefore leaving room for judgement and common sense.  Believe me that this ruling was NOT common sense.  I asked him what the intent was behind that section of code.  As SME for codes, we often are privy to the reasoning behind the requirements that are not included in the code nor commentary.  Anyways, he plainly says that he is not aware of the intent behind that section of code, but was firm in his interpretation.

So I go straight to one of the SMEs on that section of the code and he brings another SME in.  They are the two main subject matter experts on this issue and actually write the code.  The response from both of them were that my interpretation was correct and the ruling given "was a little silly".  I took that as a very polite way of saying that the ruling was :facepalm:

The guy who made the ruling wasn't in the office today, so he hasn't seen the response from the SMEs yet.  I can't wait until he reads the response. . .

How do I resist giving a big ole "Wop Yo Jaws" to a know-it-all coworker? 

At work, we are grouped into specific disciplines.  Most of our groups run/manage projects whereas some groups are only supports (review and advice on their technical expertise) since they are deemed to "valuable and specialized" to bog them down with managing projects.  One of the groups has a signature block that their manager needs to sign in order to get the chief engineer to sign to allow a project to go out for solicitation.  This group is notorious for being "I ruled this way, you have to prove I'm wrong to change my mind".  In many cases, the code is silent on many things in order to leave things up to designer discretion and judgement.  This group takes things as "if the code doesn't explicitly allow it, it's not allowed".  Anyways. . .

I'm managing this one large project and my support for the "notorious" group rules something that I feel is pretty unreasonable.  His ruling was to incorporate a requirement that is NOT stated in the code based on his interpretation of the code.  While not my subject expertise, the way I read the code was that it was silent on it, therefore leaving room for judgement and common sense.  Believe me that this ruling was NOT common sense.  I asked him what the intent was behind that section of code.  As SME for codes, we often are privy to the reasoning behind the requirements that are not included in the code nor commentary.  Anyways, he plainly says that he is not aware of the intent behind that section of code, but was firm in his interpretation.

So I go straight to one of the SMEs on that section of the code and he brings another SME in.  They are the two main subject matter experts on this issue and actually write the code.  The response from both of them were that my interpretation was correct and the ruling given "was a little silly".  I took that as a very polite way of saying that the ruling was :facepalm:

The guy who made the ruling wasn't in the office today, so he hasn't seen the response from the SMEs yet.  I can't wait until he reads the response. . .

I was in Guam for a Tandem-Thrust joint exercise.  Hey, I didn't come up with the name!!

While I was working with the Air Force "Ashore" site, another contract employee for my company was working onboard the Blue Ridge command ship with the Navy "Afloat" team.

Turned out that the version of software loaded at my site was one version behind the version loaded on the ship.  The other guy suggested I reinstall ALL MY SERVERS AND CLIENTS to match his version.  That would have taken 2 days just to do the loads and configurations not counting troubleshooting any problems we found, like secure communications settings, database changes, etc.

The exercise was supposed to test transferring the air war planning & execution database from the Navy to the Air Force.  After doing some critical analysis of my own, I sent him a message that we would not reload.  He was furious.  I can still remember him on the hard-to-decipher STU phone:  "I'm not used to having my technical decisions questioned!"

Long story short, the transition went flawlessly, and we transitioned back a few days later.

He came ashore for the debrief, and found me.  He said,  "After looking at the mission and not just the technical issues, I realized you were right.  If you reloaded everything, there was no guarantee the servers would be ready in time.  The worst that could have happened using mismatched versions was the Blue Ridge would need to build their client with the older version, but at least the planning and execution could continue using the ashore system."

From that day on, I was probably one of the few people in the company he really respected. 

Hopefully your guy is mature enough to admit he was wrong, and that it's not about being right -- it's about getting the job done right.

Before you throw someone under the bus, make sure you've got your facts straight.

A "construction specialist" threw me under the bus today by essentially blaming why something wasn't making progress since January.  He stated the reason as "the (my position) never provided a proper documentation package needed to proceed".  This was after an earlier email where he essentially got called out by his supervisor (two levels up actually) for saying something super stupid that would have made a LOT more work for said supervisor on why they weren't making progress on this issue.  He probably thought he could deflect on me.  He even essentially threw his "team" under the bus as well in doing so.  More on that. . .

Well, I have a bunch of emails where I provided everything I was supposed to.  Yes, I could have done a better job at packaging it up "all nice" for him.  I sent the information in the Feb to Apr timeframe.  Nothing since then until earlier this week (end of Jun) when I get an email asking to verify information HE ALREADY HAD!  That's where the stupid comment got him in hot water with his supervisor and tried to throw me under the bus trying to get out.  By doing so, he stated that "his whole team was aware of this issue since Jan and haven't been able to get anything from" me.  Again, I could have done a better job of packaging it up "all nice" with a bow on top and stuff [sarcasm\].  But the disconnect is in "his team" and essentially brought to light how they actually had the information since Apr and 1) didn't act on it for two months and 2) didn't ask for follow up when he said he did.  :facepalm:

I wish some of you could meet this guy.  I've only met him a few times in person, but in my unbiased opinion, he's "a little slow".  Like you explain something to him in super simple terms and his response is a "uh, whut" with a blank stare.

SNIP

Hopefully your guy is mature enough to admit he was wrong, and that it's not about being right -- it's about getting the job done right.

He actually ended up escalating it higher in his SME group.  But the thing is that this code isn't under their purview, so I'd like to see what their response is.   

Anyways, I handed the project off to someone else, so not my problem anymore. 

Uh, whut?

Uh, whut?

Loosely translated. Need to have a quiet day at the range. Who’s in?

Mom is with her son in restaurant. She’s paying minimum attention. He’s getting into this, that, while she’s not even watching. She finally notices that he’s in a storage cabinet after ordering and she’s like “Jax, you’re outta control today”. 🙄 Maybe if you paid attention to what he is doing and maybe a little discipline. 🤦‍♂️

 My mom would carry the wooden spoon in her purse. So if I started acting up or not listening, out came the spoon.  I was so conditioned that she didn't even have to use the spoon.  Just taking it out was enough for me to stop doing what I was doing.

My mom would carry the wooden spoon in her purse. So if I started acting up or not listening, out came the spoon.  I was so conditioned that she didn't even have to use the spoon.  Just taking it out was enough for me to stop doing what I was doing.

If I had a naughty kid like you I would have hit you anyway.  LOL. 

Today if you spank your kid, they can call the cops and have you arrested for domestic abuse and take away your guns too.  That is why we have spoiled teenagers and young adults who feel that the world owes them.

"hampster"

If I had a naughty kid like you I would have hit you anyway.  LOL. 

Today if you spank your kid, they can call the cops and have you arrested for domestic abuse and take away your guns too.  That is why we have spoiled teenagers and young adults who feel that the world owes them.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

My mom would carry the wooden spoon in her purse. So if I started acting up or not listening, out came the spoon.  I was so conditioned that she didn't even have to use the spoon.  Just taking it out was enough for me to stop doing what I was doing.

One of my friend's has a 5 yo girl and 3 yo boy.  I've seen now where the spanking is administered and the kid sometimes is like "ahh, that's it. . ." and goes about doing their thing.     

If I had a naughty kid like you I would have hit you anyway.  LOL. 

Today if you spank your kid, they can call the cops and have you arrested for domestic abuse and take away your guns too.  That is why we have spoiled teenagers and young adults who feel that the world owes them.

It wasn't often that I caught true lickins.  However, pain definitely was involved in my discipline growing up.  My mom was a 5/6th grade teacher and let me tell you that there was definitely pain involved when I messed up.  Sometimes I'd rather the hangar, spoon, ruler, etc than some of the stuff she did to me.  But I did learn. . . eventually. 

"hampster"

Ohh man.  That was so bad, but it made my day.  Relatively speaking, I deal with some real tools here, but not quite as bad as that. . .

The whole convincing one's self of their own reality seems to be common these days.  And not always with millenials. . . "I know what I know, don't confuse me with the facts". . .

I'm right at that generation gap for being labeled  a millennial.  So I work with a guy who's only a few years younger and doesn't know a lot of my references.  Like who John Connor is.  Or I made an Ed-209 reference.  He has never seen the OG Robocop, only the newer one.  So I showed him the ED-209 vid in the corporate meeting room and the scene where officer  Murphy was blown away.  He was amazed that they showed that in the movies cause it's not digital.

Damn older coworkers. . .

One of my coworkers is an older Chinese guy.  Maybe late 60s or early 70s.  Anyways, this guy is an eating and farting/burping machine!  Not really venting, but more    I dunno if he thinks folks can't hear, but he farts and burps ALL THE TIME!  He eats pretty often as well and he's super loud.  I don't think he's hard of hearing.  Sometimes, after he's eaten, he'll burp really loudly and I'll say over the partition "What did you say (his name)?".  He'll laugh say "excuse me".  It doesn't bother me, but damn!   

In my previous office, one of my coworkers was an older Chinese guy (coincidence?) who would crop dust the entire office.  I think he was 73 when he retired.  Anyways, he'd walk down the aisles and tooting along the way!  Everyone noticed it, but we all wondered if he knew, or if he even cared.  SUPER nice guy and I don't think anyone ever had the heart to tell him.   

Also in a previous office, there was an older Swiss guy.  He was a burper.  Super loud burper and sneezer.  He knew it too.  After a loud burp or sneeze, many times he would say out loud "oh shit!".  It was pretty hilarious.  I think he was in his early 70s at the time.

It’s funny you wrote this. I am so conscience of these sort of things that I do my best to make sure I don’t fart in the office. Not that I have a problem and do it all the time. But there was a time that field work was slow and I was in the office all day every day. And if I happened to have a fart coming on, I would walk out and leave it outside. The last thing I want is for my office mates to complain about that older coworker that crop dusted the office all the time. 

Maybe they are glad I am retiring in a few months!!! 

Revisiting this one.

Finally came across a "true" Karen today.  A project that I'm deeply involved in is coordinating/consulting with requirements with EPA.  The rep is trying to "flex" on pointing out everything that she feels needs to be complied with. 

We met virtually, but I've got $20 that I know her hairstyle. . .

 

Highly motivated IT. . .

Anyways, I've been approved for a company smart phone.  Have approval through my management line, and was told to submit the "formal request" via an online tracking system with our IT.  That was almost a month ago and where the due date was about a week after the request. 

Now 4 weeks later, I follow up with IT.  What's the status.  Response is they are awaiting approval.  I go into our IT's system and there's no approval notification pending.  So I ask the IT person if they can track down who the approval is waiting.  Response is "check with your management".  So why the eff do we have to submit the request into YOUR system?  And if it's waiting approval, shouldn't YOU know where approval lies in YOUR system?  How about just a little measure of common sense to work the problem?   

Highly motivated IT. . .

Anyways, I've been approved for a company smart phone.  Have approval through my management line, and was told to submit the "formal request" via an online tracking system with our IT.  That was almost a month ago and where the due date was about a week after the request. 

Now 4 weeks later, I follow up with IT.  What's the status.  Response is they are awaiting approval.  I go into our IT's system and there's no approval notification pending.  So I ask the IT person if they can track down who the approval is waiting.  Response is "check with your management".  So why the eff do we have to submit the request into YOUR system?  And if it's waiting approval, shouldn't YOU know where approval lies in YOUR system?  How about just a little measure of common sense to work the problem?   

Something I found is prevalent in the military as well as large civilian organizations:

It's easier to get $1M approved and funded than it is to get a $50 item approved and purchased.  The small, yet often essential, purchases only affect the individual employee.  The big expenditures require higher level approvals (gets put on their radar) and affects the company at a higher level.

So, good luck getting that phone, a new monitor, a bookcase, or a cover for your iPad.  I was lucky that my company had the most streamlined process for small expenses.  Submit a purchase request with an Amazon (or other vendor) ad showing the specs and cost, get just one manager's approval, and our admin submitted the order.  Took days, not a month with no progress.

Whoever let your request sit awaiting approval needs their face slapped.  Waiting for someone without letting that someone know you're waiting is about as passive-aggressive as it gets.  "Don't blame me.  Someone else dropped the ball."