This post is my opinion.
There was an even this Sunday called Bows' N. Bullets. This was a female only event that had female RO's at the pistol side. 1 common issue that occurred here and I've had other female friends talk to me about is with regard to their first handgun. Often their husband buys it for them (they have zero input) and there is X issue with the gun. The gun doesn't fit my hand, the slide is too difficult to rack, it looks ugly, etc...And most times, it's not some cheap high point that is bought for them, but handguns that cost over $1000. I've even had a friends husband buy her a CZ Shaddow 2. Which she hated.
So the issue that I see with this is that even though we have good intentions, we need to let the women pick their own gun. At most, suggest a caliber like 9mm because it's cheaper and more abundant compared to 45, 357, 40, etc... And set a budget. I've done this with all of Mrs. CMO's guns. And often, her stuff is better than mine. She also likes to show it off because it's "her gun".
This way they cannot complain that "my husband chose it for me" and I've noticed once they do get to pick their own gun, they're also more likely to train with it because it's their gun and not "their husband's". Then they buy their own gear, and in Mrs. CMO's case, purple stuff. Like she spends hours upon hours looking up stuff for herself.
So I suggest to take your wife/gf to the store and let them try all the guns. Then if anything after that go to the range and see if a friend has the same gun and let her try it. When we first got into shooting, we got a VP9 due to it being ambi cause she's a lefty. Shortly after, she didn't like certain things about it and wanted something her own. So we were in Vegas and went to an indoor range and after her looking online to what looks cool months prior, she shot about 5 different handguns at this range. The range was cool because they didn't charge us per gun, which is normally like $15 or so. After this she chose the S&M M&P 9C. She also then got an Apex trigger. This was her gun.
Then after that, she wanted something bigger and she chose the CZ P10C. And for both, she got all the gear that is needed (holsters, mag holders, belt, etc...). She does have her eye on a CZ Shaddow 2 also now. The only input is that she was looking at some not so reliable guns like Taurus, so I told her to stay away and explained why.
The next issue is training. It is understandable that wife/gf won't really listen to their husband/bf. And this goes in the opposite also, we don't listen to them either when learning something. There needs to be a neutral 3rd party to teach. Many years ago, we did a body building comp together and everything her trainer was telling her, is what I've been saying for years. He explained the above to me and I understand now. He also laughed that I was paying him for the exact same thing I was telling her. But it is what it is. This can also apply to family members. Since there are so many various groups out there, I suggest after the basic safety and operating is learned, to take a skill builder or private instruction. Because you don't want to show up to a skill builder and not know how to reload or more important SAFETY. So for a total noob, private instruction would be good if this is the route they want to go.
Also when I talk to noobs of either sex, when I explain something, I try to make it relatable. My coworker has a problem racking the slide on the gun her husband bought her. She complains about not being strong enough. I told her it takes practice. Even I had the same problem with my first gun. And I can lift X amount of weight. So she was surprised someone of my strength and size had an issue. But it took practice due to using diff muscles.
The example I used was when she had her 1st child, holding a 8lbs baby made her back sore, arm sore, etc...But after a few weeks/months, she's holding 20lb baby in 1 arm, 1 gallon milk in the other and bag groceries all while opening her front door. This made a lot of sense to her that practice is all it takes. Another friend goes to the gym and was frustrated he can't shoot well. he shoots like every other month due to lazyness. I asked him, if he only went gym once every other month, would he be able to bench 225lbs as a noob. He said no. And then understood what I was getting at. He watches a lot of IG shooters and expects to be just as good as them.
So again, the above is all my opinion so take it for what it's worth. I am also not an expert or instructor. Been only shooting since 2016, so I don't have 20 years of xp either like many here do. But sometimes it takes a new view on things too.