My favorite joke of all time:
A man is hunting out in the woods. It's a cold, dark night, and he's waiting for a deer, when all of a sudden, a grizzly bear crashes through the bushes! Before the man has a chance to raise his rifle, the bear knocks it aside with his great big paw and with his other paw, knocks the man to the ground! The man is dazed and thinking he's going to die, when the bear picks him up, lays him over a rotted log, and rapes him to within an inch of his life.
Humiliated and bitter, the man makes it back to civilization and vows revenge. When he makes it out of the hospital six weeks later, he buys another rifle, in a huge caliber, and spends half his fortune in the most advanced hunting gear. He goes back out in the woods, sets all his traps, puts on his nightvision goggles, sprays himself with bear scent, loads his rifle, and-
The bear crashes through the bushes again, and sure enough, before he can raise his rifle and get off a shot, with one huge paw, he knocks the gun aside, knocks the man out with the other, and yup, lays him over a log and has his way with him, even worse than before.
The man survives this ordeal and SWEARS THIS BEAR IS GOING TO DIE BY HIS HANDS. He takes no chances. He spends the rest of his fortune and mortgages his home. He maxes out all his credit cards. He begs and borrows from his family and friends and he buys not only hunting gear, but claymores and mines and all manner of cameras and traps. He even takes the time to learn jujitsu and learns to fight blindfolded, to hone his senses so the bear can't sneak up on him again. He drives back out to the woods with all his gears and training, and, you guessed it, before he can even finish getting ready, the bear crashes through the bushes, knocks his weapon aside, bats him about the head, and lays him over a log. As the man, dazed and stunned, curses his fate, the bear says, "You don't come here to hunt, do you?"