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Off Topic / Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« on: May 18, 2026, 06:40:42 PM »
I was just remembering the last time I asked my boss for a raise. For the most recent 2 years, I received no salary increases due to "corporate economic factors". This last time, I was determined to make my case.
So, that morning bright and early, I knocked very loudly on his office door. After being invited in, I closed the door and began. Let's call the boss Mr. B.
"Mr. B, I've been a loyal, hardworking employee now for over 10 years. I understand when the company experiences slow periods that we all have to make sacrifices for the good of everyone in the company. However, these past 2 years without a raise is really starting to cause problems what with inflation, the kids starting college, and a host of other big expenses. I feel my work here is more than deserving of a bump in salary, and I'd really like to see it in the upcoming year. To be honest with you, I have four companies after me at the moment, but I wanted to speak to you first."
Mr. B. tried to give me the same line about "this isn't the right time given the current economy," and I came back with, "But that doesn't seem to explain the huge bonuses we see management getting year after year without exception. Either I'm just.as much a valued employee, or I'm not."
Mr. B. was silent for a minute, and then asked, "How does a 10% raise starting next pay period sound along with 5 more days of annual vacation?"
I smiled and said, "That sounds great! I can't wait to tell my wife!"
After a couple of handshakes and pleasnatries, I opened the door to leave, and then Mr. B. aksed, "Just out of curiosity, which four companies are after you?"
I turned, and with a straight face replied, "The mortgage company, the water company, the electric company, and the cable company."
So, that morning bright and early, I knocked very loudly on his office door. After being invited in, I closed the door and began. Let's call the boss Mr. B.
"Mr. B, I've been a loyal, hardworking employee now for over 10 years. I understand when the company experiences slow periods that we all have to make sacrifices for the good of everyone in the company. However, these past 2 years without a raise is really starting to cause problems what with inflation, the kids starting college, and a host of other big expenses. I feel my work here is more than deserving of a bump in salary, and I'd really like to see it in the upcoming year. To be honest with you, I have four companies after me at the moment, but I wanted to speak to you first."
Mr. B. tried to give me the same line about "this isn't the right time given the current economy," and I came back with, "But that doesn't seem to explain the huge bonuses we see management getting year after year without exception. Either I'm just.as much a valued employee, or I'm not."
Mr. B. was silent for a minute, and then asked, "How does a 10% raise starting next pay period sound along with 5 more days of annual vacation?"
I smiled and said, "That sounds great! I can't wait to tell my wife!"
After a couple of handshakes and pleasnatries, I opened the door to leave, and then Mr. B. aksed, "Just out of curiosity, which four companies are after you?"
I turned, and with a straight face replied, "The mortgage company, the water company, the electric company, and the cable company."



