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michalebsdad

Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #20 on: August 02, 2013, 04:17:34 PM »
It is a truly sad day when family takes advantage of each other...what a shame! I wish you all the best, though it sounds like if the gravy train stops it will cause what your Grandfather was trying to avoid. I am all for helping out family and people who are going through hard times, but when that help starts putting you into a financial bind, well something has to be done. Hopefully they step up and do what is right!

Q

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« Reply #21 on: August 02, 2013, 05:10:47 PM »
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« Last Edit: September 10, 2016, 11:28:36 PM by Q »

moosed

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Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #22 on: August 02, 2013, 06:03:02 PM »
Everyone else that is morally and financially responsible agrees with the changes; its just those who have not been contributing that are complaining about the changes.

Then I don't see much of a problem.  You have a meeting with them all, lay it out fairly and evenly, and explain that's how it is.  Be willing to listen to suggestions, but do not get dragged into arguments.  Treat everyone like adults, and most will probably respond as such.

I would recommend a video recorder for the meeting.  Anybody gets aggressive or threatening, you have evidence for immediate removal and maybe a TRO.  Domestic violence isn't just between spouses and honeys.

Change is sometimes unpleasant, but it is also inevitable...

When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state".

Q

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« Reply #23 on: August 02, 2013, 07:03:14 PM »
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« Last Edit: September 10, 2016, 11:28:42 PM by Q »

Kingkeoni

Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #24 on: August 02, 2013, 08:10:04 PM »
I would recommend a video recorder for the meeting.  Anybody gets aggressive or threatening, you have evidence for immediate removal and maybe a TRO.  Domestic violence isn't just between spouses and honeys.

^ Mainland mentality.  :wtf:
Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

moosed

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Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #25 on: August 02, 2013, 08:19:47 PM »
^ Mainland mentality.  :wtf:

Yeah, if using your brain and protecting yourself legally with everyday technology is mainland mentality, I guess the "mainland way" is just overrunning Oahu ...

Seen any surveillance footage of McDonald's in Waikiki at 2:30AM lately?
When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state".

Kingkeoni

Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #26 on: August 02, 2013, 08:22:48 PM »
Yeah, if using your brain and protecting yourself legally with everyday technology is mainland mentality, I guess the "mainland way" is just overrunning Oahu ...

Seen any surveillance footage of McDonald's in Waikiki at 2:30AM lately?

Sad
Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

moosed

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Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #27 on: August 02, 2013, 08:29:48 PM »
Sad

... "mainland mentality?"  So, that's an insult or something? 

When someone's cushy setup is threatened and they feel like you're attacking them financially, personally, whatever, they are capable of pretty much anything.  Rather than get into it with a relative, especially if it disrespects the parents' or grandparent's wishes, I'd choose to just evict the troublemakers.  Having a little evidence will make the complaint (and the eviction) a lot quicker.  Dragging out the drama is just prolonging the pain and making everyone involved deal with a bad situation.

What's sad is you feel like singling my post out and making ignorant remarks.  So far, that's just par for the course, huh?
When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state".

Kingkeoni

Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #28 on: August 02, 2013, 08:37:59 PM »
... "mainland mentality?"  So, that's an insult or something? 

When someone's cushy setup is threatened and they feel like you're attacking them financially, personally, whatever, they are capable of pretty much anything.  Rather than get into it with a relative, especially if it disrespects the parents' or grandparent's wishes, I'd choose to just evict the troublemakers.  Having a little evidence will make the complaint (and the eviction) a lot quicker.  Dragging out the drama is just prolonging the pain and making everyone involved deal with a bad situation.

What's sad is you feel like singling my post out and making ignorant remarks.  So far, that's just par for the course, huh?

Do you even own a firearm?

Why are you here?

All you do is put down local people and make snide or condescending remarks.

Why are you even here?
Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

moosed

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Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #29 on: August 02, 2013, 08:40:06 PM »
Do you even own a firearm?

Why are you here?

All you do is put down local people and make snide or condescending remarks.

Why are you even here?

Put down local people?  No, just you!
When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state".

Kingkeoni

Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #30 on: August 02, 2013, 08:42:20 PM »
Put down local people?  No, just you!

Live with you?  So you're freeloading on your grandparents, too?   :o

Nope, you put down many people
Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

moosed

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Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #31 on: August 02, 2013, 09:00:02 PM »
Nope, you put down many people

So says you.

Obviously Q understood the sarcasm.  You did, too, I'm sure.
When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state".

Kingkeoni

Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #32 on: August 02, 2013, 09:14:48 PM »
So says you.

Obviously Q understood the sarcasm.  You did, too, I'm sure.

Great move.

Insult someone and when you're called on it, back down and say "he knew I was just kidding"

You remind me of Kollin Elderts friend.

Sad
Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

moosed

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Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #33 on: August 03, 2013, 02:16:20 AM »
Great move.

Insult someone and when you're called on it, back down and say "he knew I was just kidding"

You remind me of Kollin Elderts friend.

Sad

You going to follow me around from thread to thread?  People are going to think you're in love with me!

 :-*   :-*   :-*
When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state".

Garuda

Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #34 on: August 03, 2013, 08:58:20 AM »
Essentially, there is no lease agreement; it was just a family rule that if anyone needed a place to stay to 'get back on their feet', my grandparents opened their home and lives up with open arms. However, certain individuals saw this as a way to live an essentially bill-free life, destroying our family home, and many of them literally stealing all of our grandparents money, and in the end bailing out while leaving my grandparents to pick up the pieces and pay the bills. Unfortunately, our grandparents failed to act, as they were afraid that the family would fall apart. But now that it has been established that my father is the patriarch, the lazy ass freeloaders know that the gravy train ride is over, and they are afraid as well as pissed off, because they thought the ride would never end.

The money contributed to the household is essentially a maintenance fund, which covers the wear and tear that these individuals put on the house, as well as covers any utilities or services they wish to use. A lot of my family members used to order oceanic digital and internet up the ying yang, burn up utilities like it was free, and had my grandparents spending their whole paychecks to cover everyone else's bill, while these individuals could go out and party/do whatever the hell they wanted and steal their money.

I honestly feel my father is being too lenient, but it is ultimately his decision. Honestly though, since they are passing the torch on to him, he could just flip the switch and toss them all out on their asses (which is what I would do); but my father honestly wants to protect our family's legacy by keeping the house the way my grandfather had it.

Something tells me these assholes that live with me are Obama supporters  :rofl:

Your dad is definitely fair. 

I find out anyone freeloading off of my grandparents I'd kick their ass out right away.  You don't have any lease or paperwork then PUUUUUUNNNNT goes you and your lazy ass.  Man,  taking advantage of the elderly.   Good for you Q.  Its great you know whats right and how to live.  Must be hard living next to shitbags. 

aieahound

Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #35 on: August 03, 2013, 09:50:12 AM »
Q,

I feel your pain man. When you're dealing with all family members it's a whole different ballgame.

A lot of the suggestions don't seem to take into account that this is all in the Ohana.

I think your Dad is on the right track though.

KK and Moosed, maybe you guys should start your own thread:
"KK vs. Moosed, or Moosed vs. KK"
Try to keep race out of it though. No room for that anywhere.
I'm not sayin' anyone did or they didn't, I'm just sayin'
( And yes, I confess, I am guilty of saying "Mainland Mentality" in certain situations )
 :stopjack:

new guy

Re: How do you conduct your household?
« Reply #36 on: August 03, 2013, 10:16:04 AM »
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« Last Edit: August 23, 2016, 05:24:59 PM by new guy »
Your mindset is your primary weapon. - Jeff Cooper