This post is my opinion.

There was an even this Sunday called Bows' N. Bullets.  This was a female only event that had female RO's at the pistol side.  1 common issue that occurred here and I've had other female friends talk to me about is with regard to their first handgun.  Often their husband buys it for them (they have zero input) and there is X issue with the gun. The gun doesn't fit my hand, the slide is too difficult to rack, it looks ugly, etc...And most times, it's not some cheap high point that is bought for them, but handguns that cost over $1000.  I've even had a friends husband buy her a CZ Shaddow 2. Which she hated.

So the issue that I see with this is that even though we have good intentions, we need to let the women pick their own gun. At most, suggest a caliber like 9mm because it's cheaper and more abundant compared to 45, 357, 40, etc... And set a budget. I've done this with all of Mrs. CMO's guns. And often, her stuff is better than mine. She also likes to show it off because it's "her gun".

This way they cannot complain that "my husband chose it for me" and I've noticed once they do get to pick their own gun, they're also more likely to train with it because it's their gun and not "their husband's".  Then they buy their own gear, and in Mrs. CMO's case, purple stuff. Like she spends hours upon hours looking up stuff for herself.

So I suggest to take your wife/gf to the store and let them try all the guns. Then if anything after that go to the range and see if a friend has the same gun and let her try it.  When we first got into shooting, we got a VP9 due to it being ambi cause she's a lefty. Shortly after, she didn't like certain things about it and wanted something her own. So we were in Vegas and went to an indoor range and after her looking online to what looks cool months prior, she shot about 5 different handguns at this range. The range was cool because they didn't charge us per gun, which is normally like $15 or so. After this she chose the S&M M&P 9C. She also then got an Apex trigger.  This was her gun.

Then after that, she wanted something bigger and she chose the CZ P10C. And for both, she got all the gear that is needed (holsters, mag holders, belt, etc...). She does have her eye on a CZ Shaddow 2 also now.  The only input is that she was looking at some not so reliable guns like Taurus, so I told her to stay away and explained why.


The next issue is training. It is understandable that wife/gf won't really listen to their husband/bf.  And this goes in the opposite also, we don't listen to them either when learning something. There needs to be a neutral 3rd party to teach.  Many years ago, we did a body building comp together and everything her trainer was telling her, is what I've been saying for years.   He explained the above to me and I understand now.  He also laughed that I was paying him for the exact same thing I was telling her. But it is what it is.  This can also apply to family members.  Since there are so many various groups out there, I suggest after the basic safety and operating is learned, to take a skill builder or private instruction. Because you don't want to show up to a skill builder and not know how to reload or more important SAFETY.  So for a total noob, private instruction would be good if this is the route they want to go.

Also when I talk to noobs of either sex, when I explain something, I try to make it relatable. My coworker has a problem racking the slide on the gun her husband bought her. She complains about not being strong enough. I told her it takes practice. Even I had the same problem with my first gun. And I can lift X amount of weight. So she was surprised someone of my strength and size had an issue. But it took practice due to using diff muscles.

The example I used was when she had her 1st child, holding a 8lbs baby made her back sore, arm sore, etc...But after a few weeks/months, she's holding 20lb baby in 1 arm, 1 gallon milk in the other and bag groceries all while opening her front door. This made a lot of sense to her that practice is all it takes. Another friend goes to the gym and was frustrated he can't shoot well. he shoots like every other month due to lazyness. I asked him, if he only went gym once every other month, would he be able to bench 225lbs as a noob. He said no. And then understood what I was getting at. He watches a lot of IG shooters and expects to be just as good as them.

So again, the above is all my opinion so take it for what it's worth. I am also not an expert or instructor.  Been only shooting since 2016, so I don't have 20 years of xp either like many here do.  But sometimes it takes a new view on things too.

cool story, bro...

cool story, bro...

lul, bruh

If Keanu Reeves knocked on my door and told my wife that he would train her to use a Desert Eagle, she would yes in a heartbeat. She and her girlfriend rushed to see Matrix Resurrections when it debuted in the movie theaters. The gf is anti-gun but she would love to have Keanu hold her hand while he was teaching her.

Guys know how heavy a Desert Eagle is and the amount of recoil the gun has. I would certainly not choose that weapon as my first or fifth gun to train on. Of course, if Charlize Theron told me she would train me to use it, I would not hesitate. Any time, any place. So the moral of this story is that the gun does not matter but the trainer does. Just avoid choosing a trainer who would seduce your partner, or be too charming to your partner. For the rest of your life, you would be no better than chopped liver.

If Keanu Reeves knocked on my door and told my wife that he would train her to use a Desert Eagle, she would yes in a heartbeat. She and her girlfriend rushed to see Matrix Resurrections when it debuted in the movie theaters. The gf is anti-gun but she would love to have Keanu hold her hand while he was teaching her.

Guys know how heavy a Desert Eagle is and the amount of recoil the gun has. I would certainly not choose that weapon as my first or fifth gun to train on. Of course, if Charlize Theron told me she would train me to use it, I would not hesitate. Any time, any place. So the moral of this story is that the gun does not matter but the trainer does. Just avoid choosing a trainer who would seduce your partner, or be too charming to your partner. For the rest of your life, you would be no better than chopped liver.

Real moral of the story:

If you believe your wife/GF is capable of ditching you for the first pretty face that comes along, it's not wise to arm her and teach her to use it.

It's really hard to sleep with one eye always open!   

So the issue that I see with this is that even though we have good intentions, we need to let the women pick their own gun. At most, suggest a caliber like 9mm because it's cheaper and more abundant compared to 45, 357, 40, etc... And set a budget. I've done this with all of Mrs. CMO's guns. And often, her stuff is better than mine. She also likes to show it off because it's "her gun".

SNIP

Good observations and you've been through it directly and most recently. 

On the "let the women pick", agree for the most part.  Maybe let them drive or own the decision, or at least the process, with key/helpful feedback along the way.  People don't know what they don't know.  An "I really like .357 Mag because I saw it on (insert show) or (x person) likes it" will likely end up going down a wrong road.  I've seen folks go down that wrong road and the negative experience ruin things for the new shooter, particularly ladies.   

Have seen it many times.  Guy in group pushing everyone in the group to shoot .44 Mag revolver (or Desert Eagle, or whatever).  Girl in the group is really nervous and doesn't want to, to the point of shaking nervously.  Girl finally gives in gives it a go.  Poor grip and other factors lead to barrel jump through recoil and whacks them in the forehead.  Besides being dangerous, it results in girl not wanting to shoot for the rest of the range day, and usually a lot longer. 

first guns my GF bought were Glock 19 and Beretta Neos 22. She prefers the .22 for low recoil and slide manipulation.

Good observations and you've been through it directly and most recently. 

On the "let the women pick", agree for the most part.  Maybe let them drive or own the decision, or at least the process, with key/helpful feedback along the way.  People don't know what they don't know.  An "I really like .357 Mag because I saw it on (insert show) or (x person) likes it" will likely end up going down a wrong road.  I've seen folks go down that wrong road and the negative experience ruin things for the new shooter, particularly ladies.   

Have seen it many times.  Guy in group pushing everyone in the group to shoot .44 Mag revolver (or Desert Eagle, or whatever).  Girl in the group is really nervous and doesn't want to, to the point of shaking nervously.  Girl finally gives in gives it a go.  Poor grip and other factors lead to barrel jump through recoil and whacks them in the forehead.  Besides being dangerous, it results in girl not wanting to shoot for the rest of the range day, and usually a lot longer.

I think we all know who does this.

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first guns my GF bought were Glock 19 and Beretta Neos 22. She prefers the .22 for low recoil and slide manipulation.

If we're posting specifics, the first gun my wife and I owned was a Charter Arms .357 Magnum with 5 rd capacity and a 2.5" barrel -- a detective's model.

Next was the S&W 586 .357 Magnum with 6 rd capacity and a 6" barrel.

We went to the indoor range almost monthly.  She was as good double action as most are with single action using .38 special +P ammo.

She never got a chance to try a semi-auto pistol with me, because we were divorced by the time I started getting back into firearms. 

I bought a G26 for my older daughter, who went shooting with me almost every time I went.  Had problems limp-wristing it, causing malfunctions: FTF and FTE.  After trying lots of fixes, it came down to switching guns.  First, a S&W .38SP w/4" barrel.  Then she went shopping and found the polymer EA Tanfoglio Witness, basically designed for women and anyone else with limited wrist strength and who has difficulty racking a slide. 

Sometimes, the wife/GF/daughter can shoot what you own, and sometimes they can't.  Have to let them experiment and decide if they would be comfortable trusting themselves with that gun when YOUR life was in their hands -- i.e. if she had to shoot to save your life.  It mainly comes down to confidence, which rests with her comfort level using a particular pistol.