2aHawaii
General Topics => General Discussion => Topic started by: antoinebugleboy on September 10, 2011, 07:37:21 PM
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Took my wife out to Koko Head's silhouette range today. She had gone with me once to the Waikiki Gun Club and did not have a good time at all. It was her first time shooting. She came away in tears and hating the way it felt to have the gun in her hands. This time was a bit more pleasant. In her words, "I didn't hate it as much as I thought I would," and "I like the .22."
She did shoot my 9mm once and gave it right back (Barrel pointed down range. She was very good, safety-wise.), and shook her head. But no signs of feeling traumatized or scared. She was actually a pretty decent shot, once she figured out how to properly align the sights and whatnot.
Had a bit of trouble with the 1911 22 toward the end of the day. Came home and figured out that I had installed the guide spring backwards (The spring has a big end and a small end, which I didn't even notice last time.). A good cleaning and proper reassembly and the gun was racking like new again. :D
Anyway, the question of the day: Does anyone on the board have someone close to them who is hoplophobic (afraid of weapons) and how do you handle it?
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My wife absolutely hates guns. She has agreed to come to a firearms safety class, but every time I bring it up, she doesn't want to talk about it. How do I handle it? I don't, really. I try not to spend a ridiculous amount of time at the range, but when I'm going to the range, I'm going to the range. (Not only does she not want to go, she doesn't want me to go!) In my case, I think if I can get her to understand that my guns aren't malevolent little demons who sit in the safe, day in and day out, plotting ways to escape and massacre the family, I'm doing good. I don't think she'll ever shoot a gun herself; she doesn't even want to sit down and let me show her how they work, even though she acknowledges that knowing more about them would probably alleviate some of her fears, she just can't get over her revulsion long enough to learn about them.
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I feel you antoinebugleboy... My wife like many didn't like the whole firearm thing to begin with... I "FRAMP" so much on this firearm stuff she finally started coming with me to Kokohead... My wife and 3 kids are pretty comfortable with the AR15...
I've met a few people that are afraid no matter how much they attempt to shoot... Hat's off to them to keep trying... This may sound too plain but I've told my friend to envision an enemy or someone trying to hurt you... Like Patches O' Houlihan would say "YOU GOTTA GET ANNNNGRY!" >:(
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Since I suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia I could not read your post, bugle boy.
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Tough one. Only thing I can recommend is gradual acclimatization.
Random thoughts....
Once you get them to the range a big mistake is to start off with centerfire pistols. Twenty-two rifles are a better start. Some guys think that handing them the biggest loudenboomer is fun. It aint.
See if you can rent a copy of Shane. There's a scene in there where Shane (Alan Ladd) is explaining to the very hoplophobic Marian (Jean Arthur) that a gun is just a tool. Excellent. And I'm always amused by Joey's (Brandon DeWilde) expression when Shane shoots the bottles.
I goofed once by taking a lady friend of mine to an indoor range (LOUD) and I forgot to have her wear earplugs under her earmuffs. Let's not forget that with the hair, and maybe eyeglasses, a lot of sound can get in there and be disturbing. My lady complained about her ears ringing and I smacked my stupid forehead, remembering that I forgot to give her a pair of earplugs, too. Dummy!
Let's remember that ladies sometimes have a lot more sensitivity to noise and whatever (that's why they're ladies) and the noise can be pretty disturbing. You know there are some dogs (even big ones) who are sensitive to loud noises like thunder and will cower and shake under the bed in a storm. I suspect it may be a built-in neurological reaction. I base this on the fact that in a certain breed of rats or mice (forget which), the mere jangling of a set of keys will induce siezures in them.
All turned out OK with my lady friend since she had posted one of her targets in her garage and her Dad noticed it and said, "Good Shooting." About a month later she wanted to go again.
Many firearms instructors have remarked that women seem to be better shots than men. This has been attributed to various things, like better fine motor control and the willingness to take instructions. Probably true.
I close these random (and incomplete) thoughts with this:
(http://www.loesch.org/~arviel/eleanor_shooting.jpg)
There are a couple of anecdotes about that lady carrying a gun around.
Terry, 230RN
PS. That's Eleanor Roosevelt
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Gradual acclimization seems to work well. On www.corneredcat.com (http://www.corneredcat.com), there's an article about getting your lady to like shooting, except that right up front she says that there's no sure-fire way to do it. She does give a pretty good list of things you can do that will definitely make her hate guns. ;) I'd recommend reading it. (http://www.corneredcat.com/How_to_Make_Your_Wife_Hate_Guns/)
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For the Women: http://www.hawaiirifleassociation.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2051&sid=f3097c4b55f1c6851395ca0c4f941220 (http://www.hawaiirifleassociation.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2051&sid=f3097c4b55f1c6851395ca0c4f941220)
OK guys, go to the HRA forums, April, 2011 news letter. Article written BY a Woman FOR WOMEN.
Print it out and ASK the SO to PLEASE read with an Open Mind.
FYI: At the last LIFE class I assisted in teaching, we had one woman come out Because of the article.
Others had read the article because their SO asked them to and they liked the article.
If your SO is interested, have her contact LIFE about taking a class. If she is interested. you guys say YES DEAR and PAY for her class.
This maybe the ONLY chance you have of her going to shoot a gun without your nagging etc.
LIFE has had very Positive effect on Women and guns.
If your SO comes out of the class with a changed attitude and wants a particular gun(s) and is willing to come out to the HRA fun shoots, you bring her out.
Usually, we instructors have enough guns for beginners to shoot. Just bring the proper ammo for the gun(s) she wants to shoot.
Remember, ASK the SO Nicely. Do not nag, badger, harrass or otherwise be a pain in the A-- to her about firearms and shooting.
BTW: If she liked the article, Positive feedback will be appreciated and more women oriented articles will appear.
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Gradual acclimization seems to work well. On www.corneredcat.com (http://www.corneredcat.com), there's an article about getting your lady to like shooting, except that right up front she says that there's no sure-fire way to do it. She does give a pretty good list of things you can do that will definitely make her hate guns. ;) I'd recommend reading it. (http://www.corneredcat.com/How_to_Make_Your_Wife_Hate_Guns/)
That is a great site! Hey, that gives me an idea...
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I feel like the country mouse who wandered into the city. Where I live, the police response time is around 45 minutes, so women who don't feel comfortable with guns...get over it. If you act like food, you will be eaten.....
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I feel like the country mouse who wandered into the city. Where I live, the police response time is around 45 minutes, so women who don't feel comfortable with guns...get over it. If you act like food, you will be eaten.....
I rememeber when HiCarry was on that morning special a while back, the HRA lady said it pretty well "A lot of women have a false sense of security." After hearing that I told my wife that,,,,,,,,,,and said it like I made it up cause it sounded really good...... ;D
By the way, please tell that lady thank you for me HiCarry :thumbsup: Awesome Info ;)
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I just repeat the breaking news to my wife:
Home invasion
Assault
Armed robbery
Home invasion
Rape of elderly woman
etc etc. No lies. She used to live in a bubble. Didn't know what a chronic was until I pointed one out to her.
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I consider myself fortunate then, since the wife has a Sig P226 Dark Elite for herself.
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My wife isn't scared of guns, she just doesn't want to take the time to learn how to use one. She'll go with me to the range and shoot a little, but not enought to learn how to hit the targets. She'd rather just sit there and watch me. It's kind of frustrating that she won't learn but I don't think there is anything you can really do to someone that doesn't want to learn. I've set aside a gun for her and told her it's hers just in case she wants to start learning.
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My wife isn't scared of guns, she just doesn't want to take the time to learn how to use one. She'll go with me to the range and shoot a little, but not enought to learn how to hit the targets. She'd rather just sit there and watch me. It's kind of frustrating that she won't learn but I don't think there is anything you can really do to someone that doesn't want to learn. I've set aside a gun for her and told her it's hers just in case she wants to start learning.
I and that problem.
I used to "decide" which gun was best for her and that didn't work.
She enjoys shooting 22's but didn't shoot anything larger until I gave her the green light to pick anything she wanted at all.
She eventually settled on a Sig Sauer P232 Stainless as her SHTF gun.
Not what I would have chosen for her but she likes it so it is what she shoots.
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What I keep saying, bring her out to the different Shooting events, let her shoot anything/everything.
There just may be one gun she likes best.
If she hasn't taken the gun class, PAY for her to take it. More than likely she'll find the gun she likes.
That's the one YOU buy for her.
After that ASK her if she wants to go to the FUN Shoots. IF/When she says yes, you pay ALL her expenses, Ammo, Lunch, eyes n ears.
Do Not let her shoot paper. Put up balloons , saloon pilots or similar stuff that she can see when she hits it. Paper is Boring for most women.
If you know other guys in similar situations, try to get them to ask their SO to go out with yours. Women like shooting with other Women and They
will ALL enjoy it more and be more willing to go shooting again.
If there is Enough interest HRA/LIFE just may had a Ladies Fun Shoot.
If you guys are interested, contact me and us guys can work to make it a Fun Ladies Event. Plan is for COOL part of early 2012
I don't want it to be an All Day event. Just in the COOL part of the Morning. My Wife and yours I'm sure, are Not happy in the Hot Sun(even with tent).
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I just repeat the breaking news to my wife:
Home invasion
Assault
Armed robbery
Home invasion
Rape of elderly woman
etc etc. No lies. She used to live in a bubble. Didn't know what a chronic was until I pointed one out to her.
Tell her a chronic is just like kingkeoni except he's into guns and they are into a certain type of drug............. :D
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I just repeat the breaking news to my wife:
Home invasion
Assault
Armed robbery
Home invasion
Rape of elderly woman
etc etc. No lies. She used to live in a bubble. Didn't know what a chronic was until I pointed one out to her.
Tell her a chronic is just like kingkeoni except he's into guns and they are into a certain type of drug............. :D
kingkeoni gets the :shake: whenever he's around guns.
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Tell her a chronic is just like kingkeoni except he's into guns and they are into a certain type of drug............. :D
kingkeoni gets the :shake: whenever he's around guns.
Both of these statements are ........ True :thumbsup:
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I'm almost in the exact same boat as 2AHawaii. The wife-to-be doesn't dislike guns, but it's also not her thing. Her thing is yoga. heh.
Funny thing though. Her first gun ever fired with me is the AR. Then I bought a 10/22 and let her try that. She thought it was boring, lol.
Took her to the shooting fair and had her try different handguns. She really liked the Beretta 92FS, so I bought it for myself (her). But she hasn't shown interest since I bought it. lol. Oh well, it's always there for her if she wants to start. Last thing I want to do is push the issue.
Have to take Old Guy's advice. Don't take her to shoot paper. That's boring as hell for her.
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I feel like the country mouse who wandered into the city. Where I live, the police response time is around 45 minutes, so women who don't feel comfortable with guns...get over it. If you act like food, you will be eaten.....
I rememeber when HiCarry was on that morning special a while back, the HRA lady said it pretty well "A lot of women have a false sense of security." After hearing that I told my wife that,,,,,,,,,,and said it like I made it up cause it sounded really good...... ;D
By the way, please tell that lady thank you for me HiCarry :thumbsup: Awesome Info ;)
I will. Thanks.
By the way, that woman is an NRA instructor and Training Counselor and teaches for LIFE. She is a great advocate for getting women trained to use guns effectively and is usually very good at getting women to see the benefit of training as well as exposing many of their misconceptions, especially the "the police will protect you" meme. She was basically raised in an anti-gun family and was only convinced to get training in 2007 when I mentioned that even if I had a gun to protect us, that in all likelihood the bad guy would try to take me out first. Having done that, there would likely be a gun (mine) rolling around the floor and that unless she was familar with using it, the bad guy would then be free to do as he wished with her next. I also provided her with several 911 tapes of women making calls to the police when intruders broke into their homes....most ended up with the woman getting killed....but, one was the lady that hid in the closet with a shotgun and killed the intruder while she was on the phone to 911 waiting for the police to arrive.
I would also suggest that once she agrees to getting some training, that you DO NOT do it yourself. I don't care how good of an instructor you are, she will see you in your "spouse role" and will be suspicious of, and question your suggestions. Let someone else, someone she sees as the "professional" teach her the basics.....I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have had wives and GFs come to the classes who were initially put off guns because of the perceived problems they had with their SOs training tactics......
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For what it's worth, although my wife still loathes guns, when she said she was willing to go the range with me, I told her I'd much rather have her take a class, which I'd be willing to sit through with her. I grew up around firearms, and probably have more experience with them than a good number of instructors, but the old lady has been around way too many Cougar Cock-Ups in other areas. Based on the fact that she thinks I'm a wild-eyed lunatic when it comes to guns, anything I tried to tell her would be filtered through the, "This guy is Stan Smith (American Dad) personified" lens.
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One of the audio tapes of a woman killed while calling 911
Carrying Concealed (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nu5j8C2Hrc0#)
One where the woman shoots the intruder....
http://www.ksdk.com/news/story.aspx?storyid=138185 (http://www.ksdk.com/news/story.aspx?storyid=138185)
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Powerful stuff, HiCarry! I skipped over the poor old lady getting killed; heard that one before, don't really want to again. The old feller at the end done good; he sure didn't sound as scared as I would! :-[ Really, since I started getting involved in Second Amendment stuff out here, I've seen and listened to more 911 calls and surveillance camera footage of people being butchered than any sane person would want to. People somehow manage to keep their heads buried in the sand, though. Honestly, I have to bury MY head in the sand, rather than thinking about what would happen to my family if someone broke in while I wasn't home, since the Mrs. is incapable of armed defense.
In her defense, though, she did let me talk to her about guns tonight, and she kept an open mind, too. Slow and steady and without being annoying about it wins the race! :thumbsup:
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Cougar - It can be a slow process, but IMHO, if you can make the need for protection personal, it helps drive home the importance. Try to frame any discussion on self defense not on just defending herself, but on the other members of your family (assuming you have children, grandchildren...if not, this line of persuasion may not be as effective). It is amazing to what lengths a mother will go to protect her children and if it can be pointed out that anyone willing to hurt her is very likely to also hurt her children, she may be willing to do something to put herself in a better position to protect herself and her children. And, it doesn't necessarily need to be a gun as her first step....maybe introduce her to pepper spray, maybe a knife or flashlight. Maybe a women's self defense course......I especially like to have women take a "full-contact" type of course (full contact on the opponent...) class. They soon realize the great disadvantage they face when threatened by a man. I find that this alone will convince them they need an "equalizer."
Good luck....and if she ever decides to take a firearms class, let me know. I know I am a bit biased, but almost all of the women that take our class end up being much more comfortable with, and more willing to continue practicing with firearms.
Aloha
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Thanks for the tips, HiCarry. I've been using the slow and steady approach for a while now. I think the thing to be careful about is harping on the subject all the time, so I prefer to err on the side of not bringing it up enough. Last night over dinner we did discuss firearms and safety, and I said, "Now, obviously, I'd like you to think shooting is great so we can go to the range together and have lots of fun every day, but I know that's not realistic. What I would like, though, is for you to take a course so that you're at least familiar enough to use the guns that I have if you need to. I worry about something happening to you and the wee one when I'm gone to sea, and I'd feel better knowing you could use a gun if you had to." That led to what I consider a major breakthrough when she admitted that it would be good to know, and went on to describe a situation where it would be comforting to have that knowledge. I pretty much called that a victory and let it go at that. I'm hoping that if I just kind of sit back and let the idea percolate in her head, she'll eventually kind of convince herself that she *wants* to take a course. Obviously that's much better than taking a course because Hubby twisted her arm to get her to sign up, and she'll be more likely to enjoy it. I basically don't bring it up, but I know she see's the stuff I post on my facebook, and I do make it a point to invite her to the range when I go, although I only ask once and drop it as soon as she says no. I've been surprised at her progress so far, so I guess what I'm doing must be working! :fingerscrossed:
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Cougar: Sounds like you're doing things right...progress is progress. When and if the situation presents itself, I am pretty sure I can get my GF to talk to her (she's the woman in the video of the radio program mentioned earlier...). She has a pretty good record of helping the girls see the benefit of training even if they don't ever really "get into" guns. Good luck. And, to you and all our service members, thanks for what you do for us and our country! Mahalo!
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The best thing you can do is put your wife with one of the HDF or LIFE instructors imo, as Hicarry points out -- your spouse will likely not listen to you. When you correct her it will be 'nagging' or giving her a 'hard time'; one of us could say the same thing , at the same time, and have a totally different outcome.
Train your kids -- pass the wife or girlfriend off to someone else. And plus, most of us are there to shoot :P why not let someone else do the hard work!
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I would also suggest that once she agrees to getting some training, that you DO NOT do it yourself.
Ay-men to that. You give her the basics --this is the bang switch, this is the safety (on which you don't rely), this is how the sights look on a bullseye or balloon, don't point it at anything you don't want a hole in, this is how the trigger feels before it goes bang (a little dry-firing), mention the importance of a consistent grip, and a few excercises in muzzle control and "safe" directions. ( I used to use a long dowel rubber-banded to the barrel/slide to make them more conscious of where that muzzle is being waved.)
And don't start them out at 200 yards.
And make sure their blouses are buttoned up to the neck. (One bad experience with hot cartridge case versus her cleavage, but worth mentioning, I suppose.)
Then you line her up with a good pro.
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Oh, I'll definitely be leaving the formal training to someone else. About as far as I want to go with it is getting her familiar with the parts and function of the gun, everything else I'll leave up to the professionals. I'm sure I could do it as well as anyone, but as has been stated, the problem is that in her mind, as previously mentioned, I'm like a cross between Homer Simpson and Stan Smith! :geekdanc:
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When I went to register my firearm I asked my wife to help me carry my firearm paperwork folder in, cause I had to carry my rifle case, wallet and phone ::) As soon as we got in I did all my transfer paperwork in front of her.... I asked the guy behind the glass if my wife could apply for a "LongGun" permit..
He said "yeah sure.. just have her fill this out." ;D I handed her the paperwork and she just started filling it out as I helped her promptly ;) After doing the whole transaction she said "That wasn't too bad...when can I take the pistol class?" :o
The "LongGun" permit was like a "Gateway" (drug) permit :rofl:
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You could always just be blunt.
I asked mine if she had the chance to prevent being raped or robbed would she do it. She said hell yes, but then said she doubted she could overpower a man, especially one that was intoxicated or drugged up.
I handed her a pistol and the light went on.
Done and done.
Somtimes simplicity is the best.
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My wife initially hated guns but after taking her out shooting (not in hawaii) and she laid down suppressive fire with my AR she loved it. She still isnt too much a fan of handguns but does go out and shoot with me every so often to get accustomed/comfortable with it and her mindset of using it to protect our family went up once we had our son.
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I'm about at the end of my rope. She's made some progress here and there, (or so I thought) but it's pretty obvious she feels the same way she always has. Today she told me that all guns should be confiscated and that the police should search houses periodically to make sure there are no guns. :wacko: She lives in la-la land. She told me tonight that the answer to evil people is goodness and morals! Honestly, I'm losing my marbles over this bs.
Some of you might have read the article I posted on HawaiiCCW.com this weekend. In the same vein, I think this goes beyond a simple question of child safety and gets into something deeper. This isn't a question of what kind of outlet covers to buy, or how to secure the toxic cleaning chemicals, or how to keep the kid out of the guns. It's not about whether or not we have a certain tool in a certain location; she doesn't want me to use a firearm to defend her or our child. She doesn't realize, or perhaps doesn't care, that this is causing an existential crisis for me. She's asking me to abdicate one of the most basic responsibilities of a husband and a father, and choose between being a shitty husband/father by trusting the safety of my family to dumb luck, or being a shitty husband/father by providing for the defense of the family over her objections, thereby causing arguments, fights, and possibly divorce.
What a goddamn pickle!
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You could always just be blunt.
I asked mine if she had the chance to prevent being raped or robbed would she do it. She said hell yes, but then said she doubted she could overpower a man, especially one that was intoxicated or drugged up.
I handed her a pistol and the light went on.
Done and done.
Somtimes simplicity is the best.
I wish. My wife would "run away". If someone kicked in the door she could be out the window with the baby before they got to her. ::) No mention of what the baby or her wheelchair-bound father are supposed to do. Kick rocks, I guess. Even so, I can't even get her to comprehend that a person with a gun in their hand is just as fast as an unarmed one. Having access to a gun doesn't preclude running away! Duh. (Red Badge of Courage, anyone?)
I always thought that this poster was hyperbole, but I'm afraid my dear wife really believes this!
(http://www.politifake.org/image/political/1004/gun-control-gun-control-political-poster-1272166611.jpg)
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Coug, I'm sorry for the predicament you are in. It's hard enough dealing with those types of people on forums. I can't imagine what it would be like having a wife like that. I can only hope that with time and maybe a firearms safety class or hunters ed class, she can come to understand why you feel the way you do.
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Coug, I'm sorry for the predicament you are in. It's hard enough dealing with those types of people on forums. I can't imagine what it would be like having a wife like that. I can only hope that with time and maybe a firearms safety class or hunters ed class, she can come to understand why you feel the way you do.
Thanks, bro. Haha, unfortunately, the gun-control/CCW/self-defense debate isn't something I can dabble in on the internet and then call it a day, I'm up to my eyeballs in 2nd Amendment battles every day! Oh, well, such is life, I suppose. Every once in a while I just hit the wall and need to vent. Dr. 2aHawaii.com to the rescue! :thumbsup:
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Cougar,
I am sorry about the situation you are in. It is hard to convey that reality and ideal are two different things, especially if ones life experience never included life or death situations, requiring LEO backup, or any other type of back up for that matter. (I'm assuming, forgive me if I am mistaken)
Some folks just don't understand that in many situations, the only one that will be there to defend you, is you, and if you are not adequately equipped to deal with what is going down, well then, you get hurt, maimed, or killed. Why some poeple don't want to take on that responiblity, to protect yourself and your loved ones, is beyond me.
Slow and steady education on these points may swing the vote in your favor, hopefully. Patients and time will tell. Good luck. :thumbsup:
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My wife and I took Hunter's Ed together a few years back... but when time came for the actual firearms discussion she was an adamant "NO". I should have, instead of asking her first, bought a gun and then ask for forgiveness afterwards. He reasoning was that if she got drunk she may just shoot me, or something like that. Then I proceeded to show her (probably not one of the smarter things I could've done) all the various "weapons" around the house... like the ballpeen hammer, the axe, several kitchen knives, etc.
So for several months I kept mentioning that I was going to purchase a firearm... she said no, no, no, and more no. Then proceeded to make some crazy whacked out retail therapy purchases. My friends claim that she was "gun blocking" me, but I think she would have made the same purchases regardless. I'm chang, so if she spends big I won't.
I don't know what happened next, but when I asked again, she was okay with a handgun... not a rifle, nor a shotgun... but her preference was in that order... handgun, rifle, shogun, which was the exact reverse order that I wanted to eventually purchase firearms.
Anyhow, recently I purchased my first two firearms, a shotgun and a rifle. I hid it from her...but I mentioned dozens of times that THIS was the month I was going to buy something. She kinda just ignored me. Unfortunately, the other day I noticed the shotgun starting to rust...I was freaking out. After using some coating and oil I realized that I couldn't hide the guns from her anymore... especially if I wanted to maintain them and keep them rust proof (still have almost NO idea what I'm doing...help!!!). So we talked...
And she was like.. "I KNEW YOU BOUGHT GUNS AND WERE HIDING THEM!!!" and made this face of total satisfaction as if she won some long drawn out battle... and I explained to her, well, gun's gonna rust...so I have to oil it and clean it and all that stuff and if I keep it hidden I can't adequately do all that... and the gun(s) were expensive... Now if there's anyone more chang than me, it's her... so I thnk she's cool with it now...
Lesson learned...
A. don't hide gun from spouse.
B. learn about rust prevention...!
C. insteading of asking for permission, it's much much better to ask for forgiveness!
Plus she bought COMPOSTING WORMS....what the heck??? She called me one early morning when I was still delirious and said, "honey, I'm buying worms." I woke up to a fruit breakfast (NEVER happens), and I was so happy... until i found out she wanted the watermelon rines for her WORMS. Serious????
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Someone broke into my car in GA... I went straight to walmart and bought a 20 gauge.
It was laying on the kitchen table when the wife got home... she was like "uhhh what is this?"
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Someone broke into my car in GA... I went straight to walmart and bought a 20 gauge.
It was laying on the kitchen table when the wife got home... she was like "uhhh what is this?"
See, the buy first method works!
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Someone broke into my car in GA... I went straight to walmart and bought a 20 gauge.
It was laying on the kitchen table when the wife got home... she was like "uhhh what is this?"
My wife is OK with all the guns, but guns on the kitchen table is a no no. :rofl:
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(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/38512-2/elected_8240.jpg)
Oleg has done a lot of Pro 2A, Anti Gun Control and Pro CC and Pro Firearms Education work. There are 31 pages in this particular gallery that includes such. Some of it may be NSFW, for those with sensetive eyes.
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/37783-2/options_4847.jpg)
Gallery is HERE (http://olegvolk.net/gallery/technology/arms/?g2_page=1)
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I think, like most 2A issues, the real issue is not really about the gun. With some things, I do follow the adage that it's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission, but with something as serious as having a gun in the house, I could not violate my wife's trust that way. This is our household, and she has an equal voice in it. Fortunately, my wife was willing to try shooting and let me have guns, though we still have some disagreements to work out about using them for self-defense (Fortunately, that point is only hypothetical for the moment, as we both think a gun doesn't work in our current apartment.
Anyway, this is just a long-winded way of saying that it's not about the guns, it's about communication, respect, and having her feel that her voice and feelings matter. I'm not nearly as passionate about guns to the point that if it came down to it, I'd consider divorce over giving up my guns, but I'm lucky not to have to make that choice.
If we did have a fundamental disagreement about something I was unwilling to move on, the first thing I'd do is get a neutral mediator. If you keep it between the two of you, it's just going to stay a battle of wills, and one or both of you have to lose eventually, which means even if there is a winner, he/she really loses, as trust and confidence of the other has been shattered. If you go to church, ask your pastor/minister/priest to mediate, and go with an open mind. I think that demonstrating your willingness to do this, especially if you make it clear to her that you really are not trying to "win", should make a great impression on your wife.
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(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/34434-2/better_8259web.jpg)
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/34256-3/spouse_8376web.jpg)
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/34116-3/waiting_8818web.jpg)
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/32804-5/left_3394.jpg)
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/31820-3/twice.jpg)
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/31649-5/tell_8262.jpg)
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/31128-3/sign.jpg)
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/30188-5/onehand1192.jpg)
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/29734-5/math3486.jpg)
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/28615-5/fightwin.jpg)
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/28321-13/culture9693.jpg)
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/28303-5/copsuse9363.jpg)
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/27700-5/asthma.jpg)
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/27499-9/acceptablelosses.jpg)
And what I always say when asked why I carry.......
(http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/32126-5/youarehere7957.jpg)
For those fortunate to not have to debate this issue with a significant other, good for you. For those not wishing to disrupt your harmonious existance, that is your choice. I know where I stand and I can't be everywhere all the time to protect what is important to me.
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My WIFE, AKA: BattleAxe, yes, she owns 2.
I was 45 before I got married.
My criteria: Had to LOVE GUNS, Boats with Power, Real Cars/Trucks with Real V-8 HorsePower
Met her at a C & K concert. Went together for a year. During which we did the following.
Took her to the range, she was great with guns.
Took her fishing, Waianae started out perfect, ended up Small Craft Warnings, Victory at Sea conditions, handled situation Beautifully.
Loved my Dodge Power Wagon with 360CID block with cam, compression and 4 bbl carb
While dating, bought her a Dodge Diplomat, same as what HPD drove then, with VHF antenna(yeah, I have a VHF to match)
Got married Oct 31, Halloween at the Coco Palms Hotel on Kauai.
Saved my ass 2x due to my medical condition.
Loves high end Berettas just as much as she loves jewelry.
She has her own gun safe with her Stuff in it, everything she values, including the Wedding album.
When push comes to shove, she has my back. She can be Really Nasty when it comes to covering my ass.
Moral of the story, Maintain your standards, sooner or later,you will find Ms Right for you.
If you want your SO to shoot, show her the articles in the HRA newsletter, written by a Woman for Women. Apr 2011 and Sept 2011.
If you like what the Lady writes, let HRA know. Ask if HRA/LIFE can sponser a Ladies Only Fun Shoot.
Your SO has to come to grips with herself and Her system of Values.
Once she Really understands what's at stake, turns the corner and begins to shoot, your job is to BUY HER THE GUNS SHE WANTS.
Not what you think she should shoot.
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Growler: This isn't about the guns. It's not even about being right. Old Guy: That doesn't really help Cougar.
Marriage is tough. If you keep trying to browbeat your wife with logic, especially if she's more of an intuitive type, she'll feel helpless and come to believe she has no voice in the partnership. I've seen this too often with arguing couples, and because I'm a really, really left-brained, stubborn individual, I need to moderate this tendency myself. Sure, you're right ("You're always right."), but if you bully and berate (which is how she'll perceive it) instead of listening, understanding, persuading, and ultimately, if you have to, giving, if you forget that when you have something important to protect, it's not the protecting but what's important, you'll lose it and none of it will matter.
I'm sorry if I sound too much like frickin' Dr. Phil, but I'd hate to see someone's marriage crumble because he got swayed by a bunch of chest-thumping about gun rights on an internet message board.
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I think, like most 2A issues, the real issue is not really about the gun. With some things, I do follow the adage that it's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission, but with something as serious as having a gun in the house, I could not violate my wife's trust that way. This is our household, and she has an equal voice in it. Fortunately, my wife was willing to try shooting and let me have guns, though we still have some disagreements to work out about using them for self-defense (Fortunately, that point is only hypothetical for the moment, as we both think a gun doesn't work in our current apartment.
Anyway, this is just a long-winded way of saying that it's not about the guns, it's about communication, respect, and having her feel that her voice and feelings matter. I'm not nearly as passionate about guns to the point that if it came down to it, I'd consider divorce over giving up my guns, but I'm lucky not to have to make that choice.
If we did have a fundamental disagreement about something I was unwilling to move on, the first thing I'd do is get a neutral mediator. If you keep it between the two of you, it's just going to stay a battle of wills, and one or both of you have to lose eventually, which means even if there is a winner, he/she really loses, as trust and confidence of the other has been shattered. If you go to church, ask your pastor/minister/priest to mediate, and go with an open mind. I think that demonstrating your willingness to do this, especially if you make it clear to her that you really are not trying to "win", should make a great impression on your wife.
In your case the difference is timing.
You got married and dated your wife before you had any guns.
I, on the other hand have had guns since well before the wife.
She met me and knew me and dated me and eventually married me knowing that I owned, shot and carried guns.
I think when someone knows that you are a firearm owner and decides to stay with you, they've already decided that guns are o.k.
If you've never touched a gun during the courting and dating and want to own a gun later, your spouse might have a fear of guns that you would have never known anything about because the situation never presented itself in order to make you aware of this.
I don't offer you any advice on your relationship, that's between you and your wife.
I'm just glad that I'm not in that situation. I think we all know the choice I'd make. Hahaha
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I think, like most 2A issues, the real issue is not really about the gun. With some things, I do follow the adage that it's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission, but with something as serious as having a gun in the house, I could not violate my wife's trust that way. This is our household, and she has an equal voice in it. Fortunately, my wife was willing to try shooting and let me have guns, though we still have some disagreements to work out about using them for self-defense (Fortunately, that point is only hypothetical for the moment, as we both think a gun doesn't work in our current apartment.
Anyway, this is just a long-winded way of saying that it's not about the guns, it's about communication, respect, and having her feel that her voice and feelings matter. I'm not nearly as passionate about guns to the point that if it came down to it, I'd consider divorce over giving up my guns, but I'm lucky not to have to make that choice.
If we did have a fundamental disagreement about something I was unwilling to move on, the first thing I'd do is get a neutral mediator. If you keep it between the two of you, it's just going to stay a battle of wills, and one or both of you have to lose eventually, which means even if there is a winner, he/she really loses, as trust and confidence of the other has been shattered. If you go to church, ask your pastor/minister/priest to mediate, and go with an open mind. I think that demonstrating your willingness to do this, especially if you make it clear to her that you really are not trying to "win", should make a great impression on your wife.
In your case the difference is timing.
You got married and dated your wife before you had any guns.
I, on the other hand have had guns since well before the wife.
She met me and knew me and dated me and eventually married me knowing that I owned, shot and carried guns.
I think when someone knows that you are a firearm owner and decides to stay with you, they've already decided that guns are o.k.
If you've never touched a gun during the courting and dating and want to own a gun later, your spouse might have a fear of guns that you would have never known anything about because the situation never presented itself in order to make you aware of this.
I don't offer you any advice on your relationship, that's between you and your wife.
I'm just glad that I'm not in that situation. I think we all know the choice I'd make. Hahaha
Unless you're really unlucky, in which case the woman you're dating knows you like guns, but thinks she can change you after you get married. :shake:
Currently, I don't have any problems with my wife regarding guns. She goes shooting with me and has fun. If, in the end, we move somewhere I feel we need to consider our guns for defense and she really holds her ground against it, I'll bring home some claymores and ask if that's ok. :wacko:
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...................Got married Oct 31, Halloween at the Coco Palms Hotel on Kauai.................
Is the Coco Palms even open anymore?
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Growler: This isn't about the guns. It's not even about being right. Old Guy: That doesn't really help Cougar.
Marriage is tough. If you keep trying to browbeat your wife with logic, especially if she's more of an intuitive type, she'll feel helpless and come to believe she has no voice in the partnership. I've seen this too often with arguing couples, and because I'm a really, really left-brained, stubborn individual, I need to moderate this tendency myself. Sure, you're right ("You're always right."), but if you bully and berate (which is how she'll perceive it) instead of listening, understanding, persuading, and ultimately, if you have to, giving, if you forget that when you have something important to protect, it's not the protecting but what's important, you'll lose it and none of it will matter.
I'm sorry if I sound too much like frickin' Dr. Phil, but I'd hate to see someone's marriage crumble because he got swayed by a bunch of chest-thumping about gun rights on an internet message board.
It's not that I take too much intarweebs advice, I just vent on here to a sympathetic crowd. For all you young bucks still dating a potential Mrs. Right, heed the warnings. When we were dating the topic of guns came up. I told her I had them, and I'd always have them, and as soon as I moved out of the barracks I was bringing at least some of them out here. She told me she'd never had guns, never would have guns, and damn sure not in the house. Rather than have a big scrap, we both shelved it, thinking, "Yeah, right. Over my dead body, pal." Now we're married and it turns out neither of us was kidding. :grrr:
And I'm not trying to force anything on her, either. But I do chafe at the restraints she puts on me. Namely, all guns and ammo shall be secured in a safe at all times. (common sense) The safe shall not be opened while her and the baby are in the house. (What?) Further, firearms in the safe shall be unloaded. (You're kidding me.) The other day we had a meltdown because I'd really like something other than my Maglite for home defense. She found out that I had a rather large dive knife unsecured, and immediately started demanding that I lock that away in the safe, as well. (Jeez Criminy, you're killing me here) By unsecured, I mean placed inside a bookcase on the top shelf, inside the sheath.
She doesn't believe in self-defense. If someone breaks in, we should hop out a window and run to the neighbor's. I try to respect her point of view, but I'm not going to be open-minded to the point that it jeopardizes the family safety.
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Growler: This isn't about the guns. It's not even about being right. Old Guy: That doesn't really help Cougar.
Marriage is tough. If you keep trying to browbeat your wife with logic, especially if she's more of an intuitive type, she'll feel helpless and come to believe she has no voice in the partnership. I've seen this too often with arguing couples, and because I'm a really, really left-brained, stubborn individual, I need to moderate this tendency myself. Sure, you're right ("You're always right."), but if you bully and berate (which is how she'll perceive it) instead of listening, understanding, persuading, and ultimately, if you have to, giving, if you forget that when you have something important to protect, it's not the protecting but what's important, you'll lose it and none of it will matter.
I'm sorry if I sound too much like frickin' Dr. Phil, but I'd hate to see someone's marriage crumble because he got swayed by a bunch of chest-thumping about gun rights on an internet message board.
It's not that I take too much intarweebs advice, I just vent on here to a sympathetic crowd. For all you young bucks still dating a potential Mrs. Right, heed the warnings. When we were dating the topic of guns came up. I told her I had them, and I'd always have them, and as soon as I moved out of the barracks I was bringing at least some of them out here. She told me she'd never had guns, never would have guns, and damn sure not in the house. Rather than have a big scrap, we both shelved it, thinking, "Yeah, right. Over my dead body, pal." Now we're married and it turns out neither of us was kidding. :grrr:
And I'm not trying to force anything on her, either. But I do chafe at the restraints she puts on me. Namely, all guns and ammo shall be secured in a safe at all times. (common sense) The safe shall not be opened while her and the baby are in the house. (What?) Further, firearms in the safe shall be unloaded. (You're kidding me.) The other day we had a meltdown because I'd really like something other than my Maglite for home defense. She found out that I had a rather large dive knife unsecured, and immediately started demanding that I lock that away in the safe, as well. (Jeez Criminy, you're killing me here) By unsecured, I mean placed inside a bookcase on the top shelf, inside the sheath.
She doesn't believe in self-defense. If someone breaks in, we should hop out a window and run to the neighbor's. I try to respect her point of view, but I'm not going to be open-minded to the point that it jeopardizes the family safety.
Sounds like unmovable object vs. irresistible force. I don't know what else to offer but my sympathies. I hope the two of you figure something out.
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[Sounds like unmovable object vs. irresistible force. I don't know what else to offer but my sympathies. I hope the two of you figure something out.
Yup, that's pretty much what it is. I appreciate the sage advice and sympathies! :thumbsup:
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Maybe this will convince her? ;D
(http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000276872/polls_jesus_gun_3808_34256_answer_2_xlarge.jpeg)
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Haha, I actually had an email typed up to send her, where I quoted Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, and MLK, Jr, but I said the hell with it. I'm out of ideas, she's pretty dug in. She did say she'd be willing to come to the range (although maybe not shoot), so I'll see if I can get her to do that, and see what happens from there.
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Hang in there... and remember she's a woman where more often than naught, it's not reason, logic, or what is common sense that will win an argument... heck, "winning an argument" means LOSING just about 100% of the time for me. But you know that already, and vent away... that's why we're here, I think.
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Maybe this will convince her? ;D
(http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000276872/polls_jesus_gun_3808_34256_answer_2_xlarge.jpeg)
I keep thinking Jesus can cheat... so instead of using a gun, he can make a gun shape with his hand and shoot lighting bolts out of it or something... that would be a picture I'd want to see!
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Or, he can be annoying and do this:
(http://www.forkparty.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Bullet-Stays-in.jpg)
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Hang in there. Mine didn't get it for a while, one day I asked here what she would do if someone broke in the house and attacked her and I wasn't home to defend her. Things kinda changed after that.
Eliminate every possibility except for her getting attacked and needing a gun to stay alive or worse (the R word). Worked for me.
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what's worse is when the other half acts like they have interest in guns, then things change after the pair becomes serious. shortly after my brother got married, his wife was saying she didn't want him buying any more guns. next thing you know, he's buying stuff and hiding it from her. sad.
Hang in there. Mine didn't get it for a while, one day I asked here what she would do if someone broke in the house and attacked her and I wasn't home to defend her. Things kinda changed after that.
Eliminate every possibility except for her getting attacked and needing a gun to stay alive or worse (the R word). Worked for me.
for me, this is the very reason i've learned to shoot. everyone is responsible for their own well being. i know my husband will be gone for long periods of time, so i'm prepared to protect myself.
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I'm lucky that while my girlfriend doesn't see the appeal in real bullets, she enjoys precision marksmanship.
I just wish that I could show her my range toys without having them called an 'abomination of a rifle' :'(
On the other hand this means that I win points when I bring back a Daisy Avante or the like :P
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GZire: The Coco Palms is only a ruined shell.
The Elvis Wedding Chapel is open and still marrying people.
The Wife "wants" certain items from there as momentos of our getting married there.
There is a Book about it, We have a copy, I know she wants it autographed. One of these days.
Cougar8045, If you have children, ask your wife what she would do to Protect them from a sexual predator?
Take it from there.
If she is against any kind of self defense, then she has to totally RE-Think her value system. If she refuses to
protect herself then she has problems.
She should be asking herself about her self worth. Victim or Survivor? Can she live with herself if she was a willing victim.
Can you live with her if she was a Victim?
FYI,Most marriages fall apart when the woman is a victim of sexual assault. Many husbands can't handle and the marriage ends in divorce.
Many years ago, I met a Woman who said she would submit herself to a rapist as long as her 3 Daughters were safe. She told me that she would give the
rapist "the ride of his life", after she tired him out and he fell asleep, she planned to Kill him and make him suffer while she did it......
One of the reasons Why I like to teach Women how to shoot is because I have met women who have been raped.
You DO NOT mess with those women, they are Survivors and will do their Best to STOP a rape from happening.
You can say, where these women are concerned, "Thelma and Louise" is a training film.
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Many years ago, I met a Woman who said she would submit herself to a rapist as long as her 3 Daughters were safe. She told me that she would give the
rapist "the ride of his life", after she tired him out and he fell asleep, she planned to Kill him and make him suffer while she did it......
this reminds me of the Petit Home Invasion story out of Connecticut. very tragic, :(
http://abcnews.go.com/US/TheLaw/gruesome-petit-trial-testimony-suspects-snapped-photos-assaults/story?id=11710077 (http://abcnews.go.com/US/TheLaw/gruesome-petit-trial-testimony-suspects-snapped-photos-assaults/story?id=11710077)
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Many years ago, I met a Woman who said she would submit herself to a rapist as long as her 3 Daughters were safe. She told me that she would give the
rapist "the ride of his life", after she tired him out and he fell asleep, she planned to Kill him and make him suffer while she did it......
this reminds me of the Petit Home Invasion story out of Connecticut. very tragic, :(
http://abcnews.go.com/US/TheLaw/gruesome-petit-trial-testimony-suspects-snapped-photos-assaults/story?id=11710077 (http://abcnews.go.com/US/TheLaw/gruesome-petit-trial-testimony-suspects-snapped-photos-assaults/story?id=11710077)
Jesus. I had forgotten about that story, fortunately. Of course, last time I read it, it wasn't so bad; I didn't have a daughter yet.
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On many gun forums, men who are thinking of getting married are advised to Seriously check the woman out in terms of guns
and anything else the guy feels is important to him.
If she fails, PASS. Find one hat likes shooting and is OK with you buying guns.
If she likes dogs, trucks, boat and airplanes, your marriage prospects are Great.
Check her out before marriage. I did, I know what my Wife had to be good to go with when dating.
I met her criteria and she mine, we got married, have been for over 20 years.
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Many years ago, I met a Woman who said she would submit herself to a rapist as long as her 3 Daughters were safe. She told me that she would give the
rapist "the ride of his life", after she tired him out and he fell asleep, she planned to Kill him and make him suffer while she did it......
this reminds me of the Petit Home Invasion story out of Connecticut. very tragic, :(
http://abcnews.go.com/US/TheLaw/gruesome-petit-trial-testimony-suspects-snapped-photos-assaults/story?id=11710077 (http://abcnews.go.com/US/TheLaw/gruesome-petit-trial-testimony-suspects-snapped-photos-assaults/story?id=11710077)
Jesus. I had forgotten about that story, fortunately. Of course, last time I read it, it wasn't so bad; I didn't have a daughter yet.
out of all the dateline, 48 hrs mystery, and 20/20 shows that i've watched, the feature they did on this particular crime was the most impressionable one.
i wonder if things would have turned out differently if they owned firearms.
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Don't think that a gun in the Petit situation would have changed much as they did not seem to have the "survival" mind set.
What happened got a lot of people to thinking and firearms were sold as a "feel good" measure.
People have to change their Thinking, just having a handgun alone will not be enough.
They have to have the mindset to USE the firearm and to become proficient in it's use.
Best example is Wm Shatner as Denny Crane in "Boston Legal" whenhe drops the mugger in the parking garage.
Then says, "America, Land of Liberty Valance". A n old movie starring John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart and Lee Marvin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_Who_Shot_Liberty_Valance (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_Who_Shot_Liberty_Valance)
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Don't think that a gun in the Petit situation would have changed much as they did not seem to have the "survival" mind set.
What happened got a lot of people to thinking and firearms were sold as a "feel good" measure.
People have to change their Thinking, just having a handgun alone will not be enough.
They have to have the mindset to USE the firearm and to become proficient in it's use.
Best example is Wm Shatner as Denny Crane in "Boston Legal" whenhe drops the mugger in the parking garage.
Then says, "America, Land of Liberty Valance". A n old movie starring John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart and Lee Marvin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_Who_Shot_Liberty_Valance (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_Who_Shot_Liberty_Valance)
I was typing a reply to that effect, but got frustrated by this crappy keyboard and quit. The most important part of armed self defense is, in this noob's opinion, mindset. The Marine Corps Rules of Gunfighting are good for a chuckle, but one of them I really do take to heart: "Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough." I think a lot of people miss that point. It's not nice, it's not clean, or fun, or anything; at some point in an encounter like the Petits, the good guy has to A) recognize, and B) come to terms with, the fact that somebody is going to be very seriously injured or possibly killed. I really think a lot of people aren't able to fully embrace that concept; so even if they have a gun, they're pulling it out and pointing it at the bad guy in the hopes that this can somehow still come to an agreeable conclusion for all involved. It can't. Embrace the suck; somebody isn't walking out of this house. I don't like it, I wish you hadn't come here, I wish you hadn't chosen me, I wish, I wish, I wish... But you did, and when it comes down to it, friend, it won't be me or mine on the gurney, not today, not if I can help it.
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Wife finally decided to join us at the range today!!! ;D Completely out of the blue. I gave up asking her a while ago, but this morning as my son and I were loading up, she said she wanted to join us.... On the way there I asked her why and she said that if the SHTF, she should at least know how to operate it. So after about 45 min. of going over the safety and operation, she started shooting and she even admitted to having fun. Today was a good day. Although on the ride home she threw in the comment, "just because I had fun doesn't mean you can buy more guns..." (that's what SHE thinks...)
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Wife finally decided to join us at the range today!!! ;D Completely out of the blue. I gave up asking her a while ago, but this morning as my son and I were loading up, she said she wanted to join us.... On the way there I asked her why and she said that if the SHTF, she should at least know how to operate it. So after about 45 min. of going over the safety and operation, she started shooting and she even admitted to having fun. Today was a good day. Although on the ride home she threw in the comment, "just because I had fun doesn't mean you can buy more guns..." (that's what SHE thinks...)
Keep at it :), get her out to the Life, HRA, HDF shoots -- and then she will want her own guns imo ;P.
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Wife willh have more fun if you show her guns in different Colors and finishes.
Mine is very partial to BBQ guns. Guns with lots of Bling. Gold engraving, special finish, limited editions.
Especially high end Berettas. Costs me Lots more for one of hers. Could get 2 or 3 of mine.
They're ALL shooters, no safe queens. She loves the comments she get from other women shooters.
Be Warned that once she gets "her" gun, she most likely will want More "pretty" guns.
That'll really start costing you. Be surprised how well she can shoot "her" gun.
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My fiancé knew that I had a handgun when we started dating.. She's ok with me to go to the range once a week but she won't go... It 'my' thing according to her... Which is cool with me..
She did try my Airsoft GBB H&K USP and after a mag she was like 'meh'...
Now she calls me a redneck due to SOG on TV.... LOL... She tells me (as a joke) that 'we're not moving to Tennessee!' when I'm cleaning my guns in the garage.. gotta luv that sense of humor....
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Wife willh have more fun if you show her guns in different Colors and finishes.
Mine is very partial to BBQ guns. Guns with lots of Bling. Gold engraving, special finish, limited editions.
Especially high end Berettas. Costs me Lots more for one of hers. Could get 2 or 3 of mine.
They're ALL shooters, no safe queens. She loves the comments she get from other women shooters.
Be Warned that once she gets "her" gun, she most likely will want More "pretty" guns.
That'll really start costing you. Be surprised how well she can shoot "her" gun.
Actually, IMHO, you're better off letting her decide what SHE wants....it MAY be that pink Glock, or it MAY be the standard blued revolver with the wood grip, or something else. It all boils down to letting THEM decide. And, here's a hint: If, after you finally get your SO out to the range she expresses some preference for a gun, don't ever, ever, ever, say anything like "I don't think you'd like that" or "I think that this [other] gun would work better for you." It will undoubtedly end up biting you in the *ss. Just get her the gun she wants, and let things go from there.....at worst she won't use it (so maybe you can...) and at best, you'll have a partner that actually likes to spend time at the range.
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The wife surprised me by digging out my Walther PPS airsoft pistol last night to top off her costume. It's a baby step, but she previously lumped that thing in with the rest of the guns, so it shocked my socks off when she brought it out to me and said, "hey, can you make sure this thing is, like, unloaded or on safe, or whatever so I can use it with my costume?" She even had me dig out the POS holster I've got for the old Beretta so she could pack it properly. Baby step? Definitely. Maybe not even quite a baby step yet, but she's at least crawling, and one would hope that it'll be a short leap of logic for her to understand that if an airsoft pistol can be rendered safe to carry, the same can be done with the real McCoy. We can hope, at any rate, eh?
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The wife surprised me by digging out my Walther PPS airsoft pistol last night to top off her costume. It's a baby step, but she previously lumped that thing in with the rest of the guns, so it shocked my socks off when she brought it out to me and said, "hey, can you make sure this thing is, like, unloaded or on safe, or whatever so I can use it with my costume?" She even had me dig out the POS holster I've got for the old Beretta so she could pack it properly. Baby step? Definitely. Maybe not even quite a baby step yet, but she's at least crawling, and one would hope that it'll be a short leap of logic for her to understand that if an airsoft pistol can be rendered safe to carry, the same can be done with the real McCoy. We can hope, at any rate, eh?
My feelings exactly.
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The wife surprised me by digging out my Walther PPS airsoft pistol last night to top off her costume. It's a baby step, but she previously lumped that thing in with the rest of the guns, so it shocked my socks off when she brought it out to me and said, "hey, can you make sure this thing is, like, unloaded or on safe, or whatever so I can use it with my costume?" She even had me dig out the POS holster I've got for the old Beretta so she could pack it properly. Baby step? Definitely. Maybe not even quite a baby step yet, but she's at least crawling, and one would hope that it'll be a short leap of logic for her to understand that if an airsoft pistol can be rendered safe to carry, the same can be done with the real McCoy. We can hope, at any rate, eh?
Nice Cougar!
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My fiancé knew that I had a handgun when we started dating.. She's ok with me to go to the range once a week but she won't go... It 'my' thing according to her... Which is cool with me..
She did try my Airsoft GBB H&K USP and after a mag she was like 'meh'...
Now she calls me a redneck due to SOG on TV.... LOL... She tells me (as a joke) that 'we're not moving to Tennessee!' when I'm cleaning my guns in the garage.. gotta luv that sense of humor....
You would be fine moving to Tennessee, SOG is Louisiana.
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After reading all this, I am reminded how lucky I am to have a girlfriend who loves shooting. I agree with all the points others made bout starting them off with .22s, shooting at something other that paper, and letting them choose what they want to shoot. I started out by making it fun for her on the silhouette side, both of us trying to hit the same target at the same time. She's got the right mindset, and even EDCs a light a and a Kershaw now. I used to have girlfriends who'd drop the whole "why should I worry, you're here" line on me, but this one knows that I won't always be home to look out for her. As for the Petit case, I hope it serves to shut up all those from the "give the rapist what they want" crowd.
Tell your wife or SO that shooting is a "relationship-building exercise"...
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Dang. I was searching around for "eyeglasses" and somehow this thread was flagged. So I read it.
I don't even remember anything about eyeglasses anywhere?!
But this is still a valid discussion, if anyone wants to continue.
Otherwise I will drop it.
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hmmm...never heard of anyone that has a phobia of guns...maybe, just keep having her play with the guns, even not actual shooting (just handling unloaded guns at home, assembly/disassembly, dry firing)...Maybe her phobia is the loud noise, or the recoil, or...something else. Ask her and just try to figure out what's about guns and shooting, she is really afraid of...good luck!
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Old thread but interesting discussion, My girlfriend had never really been around guns until she met me. Her father is an avid hunter and outdoorsman and he owns several guns but she had never used them or really was taught about guns. The day I came home with the first "real" gun I bought, a 1911, she was a bit apprehensive about having a gun in the house but since then we have taken a handgun course together which really helped her because it wasn't me doing the teaching and she was able to fire several other handguns. I now have several more guns and we get out to the range when we can, which is not nearly often enough. She enjoys shooting the .22 pistol I have, No so much the 10/22 carbine I have due to the weight of holding it up from a standing position. She also really enjoys the 12 gauge just because I bring milk jugs and gatoraid bottles full of water to blow up and of course that is always fun. She has also shot the 1911 on her own accord but does not enjoy it as much due to the recoil, when she shoots that gun she is more focused on just hanging onto it than hitting a target.
We have only gone to the range a few times due to the distance and ammo prices/shortage but once we move back to the mainland we are going to join a club with a range that is close by and I plan on going once a week at least myself, I am sure it will be a regular occurence for us. I know she would also be interested in getting her own gun once we move back, something that fits her just as she likes and possibly even to the point of carrying as we both have our permits to carry.
There are a few things she does not like though... For one she is not happy when I forget to stand on the right side of her and .45 cases come flying back at her.
I also can't shoot my larger guns without bothering her when she is shooting due to the noise. We haven't gone and shot my AR yet but I think she will find that to be pretty fun, especially if I put the bipod on for her.
Everytime I get something new I try to show her how it works, what all the buttons/levers whatever do and take it apart to give her an idea of the inner workings and how everything functions together but I don't think she understands it as much... I guess its like taking someone who doesn't know anything about cars and pointing out all the stuff under the hood and how it works. In one ear out the other. lol
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Since I suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia I could not read your post, bugle boy.
No way?!!! Me too! I thought that I was the only person afflicted...I have always felt so alone, like no one can understand me! I would ask to talk to you about it, but well, I can't.
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Here is my take.
Like most everything else, women need to CONGREGATE.
They even like to go to the bathroom together. Well, I agree generally, for safety issue. They like shopping together, etc.
So I think if a woman finds herself in a group (that she likes, or at least not dislike) she will start picking up things from the other pro-gun women from a woman's point of view.
It is just basic human nature; no logic can be used. I may sound sexist but I used to be a very liberal everyone is equal blah blah blah person, but pragmatically I have seen too many examples where men and women do NOT think alike. So I consider that empirical scientific evidence.
My wife I did not even bother "showing her the ways" of the gun.
I had broached the topic several times over the years before we even got any guns. I had to get her OK before any gun purchase.
The more I showed her the news of the world, and what is going on behind the news headlines that most people overlook, the more she realized this is not fantasyland that we live in.
So I got myself in Hunter's Ed.
She asked me why I want to go hunting. I said not for hunting to kill animals for fun, just learn another skill. So she said, ok whatever. Since it's free anyways, and I told her we are not buying guns, I am just taking a class.
Then maybe months or a year later, I said why don't you sign up for the handgun class. I hear it is getting more and more expensive and harder to get into. (This is not necessarily a lie, it is generally true).
So she got the handgun class (from Honolulu Firearms by Russell).
She came back after the 1st day and seemed quite excited to learn all the new terminology and asked me to test her on the parts of a gun, what is a barrel, chamber, slide, etc.
The feedback I got from her was that she was very impressed that there were other women taking the class and even a whole family, with parents and their children, taking the class.
In fact this is what she repeats whenever the wives or other women ask about guns, and I suggest to them to just take the pistol class first and see what they think. Nothing wrong with learning a new topic.
So it was the fact that a whole family, and other women, generally average, decent Americans, taking gun education, that broke the STEREOTYPE of the gun nuts.
Having said all this, she is not ENTHUSIASTIC about firearms. She is OK that we have firearms in the home, but what she does not like is me spending money on ammo or accessories.
I have shown her a few times things that I bought which has since increased substantially in prices, and I told her maybe later I will eBay some of them and get a small profit. And she is OK with that.
Mostly that is an excuse I say to her. Hahaha.
But I think the key was the SOCIAL aspect, because she needed to see other NORMAL people learn about firearms to break any past PRECONCEPTIONS about a firearm.
It is also possible that having women learn self defense first, would be a good step in that direction, baby steps, toward the ultimate self protection method, which is a firearm in the hand.
I don't think any woman would say NO to the idea that women should learn basic self defense against rape, robbery, etc.
Once that mindset is achieved, that one has the right to defend oneself, and one should acquire such skill, then the rest (firearms) is really in the same category of self defense.
It is also not a bad thing for women to learn self defense ANYWAY. It may also open their eyes to HOW IMPOSSIBLE really, it is for a 100 lbs (or even 90 lbs) woman to defend against a 200 lbs rapist using kung fu moves.
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Some of the best double dates my wife and i have had have been at the range with my sister and my brother in law. We go to the plinking side and my wife and my sister shoot 10/22s and me and my brother shoot our pistols. great fun and stress relief to get ready for the week ahead or unwind from the week before. my wife is super excited to pick up her G17 on Monday!
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I did not tell my wife when we first met that I shoot. She was anti-gun and quite liberal at that time. Before we moved in together I set her down and explained what my hobby is and how I put safety above all else. I also told her I did not expect her to go shooting with me but I did expect her to allow me to teach her gun safety in the event she had to handle one. She agreed. Fortunately, she has never tried to come between me and my guns. She has been shooting with me three times in 19 years. She is no longer anti-gun and she has become quite conservative since we have been together.
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