Took my wife out to Koko Head's silhouette range today. She had gone with me once to the Waikiki Gun Club and did not have a good time at all. It was her first time shooting. She came away in tears and hating the way it felt to have the gun in her hands. This time was a bit more pleasant. In her words, "I didn't hate it as much as I thought I would," and "I like the .22."

She did shoot my 9mm once and gave it right back (Barrel pointed down range. She was very good, safety-wise.), and shook her head. But no signs of feeling traumatized or scared. She was actually a pretty decent shot, once she figured out how to properly align the sights and whatnot.

Had a bit of trouble with the 1911 22 toward the end of the day. Came home and figured out that I had installed the guide spring backwards (The spring has a big end and a small end, which I didn't even notice last time.). A good cleaning and proper reassembly and the gun was racking like new again.

Anyway, the question of the day: Does anyone on the board have someone close to them who is hoplophobic (afraid of weapons) and how do you handle it?

My wife absolutely hates guns.  She has agreed to come to a firearms safety class, but every time I bring it up, she doesn't want to talk about it.  How do I handle it?  I don't, really.  I try not to spend a ridiculous amount of time at the range, but when I'm going to the range, I'm going to the range.  (Not only does she not want to go, she doesn't want me to go!)  In my case, I think if I can get her to understand that my guns aren't malevolent little demons who sit in the safe, day in and day out, plotting ways to escape and massacre the family, I'm doing good.  I don't think she'll ever shoot a gun herself; she doesn't even want to sit down and let me show her how they work, even though she acknowledges that knowing more about them would probably alleviate some of her fears, she just can't get over her revulsion long enough to learn about them.

I feel you antoinebugleboy... My wife like many didn't like the whole firearm thing to begin with... I "FRAMP" so much on this firearm stuff she finally started coming with me to Kokohead... My wife and 3 kids are pretty comfortable with the AR15...
I've met a few people that are afraid no matter how much they attempt to shoot... Hat's off to them to keep trying... This may sound too plain but I've told my friend to envision an enemy or someone trying to hurt you... Like Patches O' Houlihan would say "YOU GOTTA GET ANNNNGRY!"

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Since I suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia I could not read your post, bugle boy.

Tough one.  Only thing I can recommend is gradual acclimatization.

Random thoughts....

Once you get them to the range a big mistake is to start off with centerfire pistols.  Twenty-two rifles are a better start.  Some guys think that handing them the biggest loudenboomer is fun.  It aint.

See if you can rent a  copy of Shane.  There's  a scene in there where Shane (Alan Ladd) is explaining to the very hoplophobic Marian (Jean Arthur) that a gun is just a tool.  Excellent.  And I'm always amused by Joey's (Brandon DeWilde) expression when Shane shoots the bottles.

I goofed once by taking a lady friend of mine to an indoor range (LOUD) and I forgot to have her wear earplugs under her earmuffs.  Let's not forget that with the hair, and maybe eyeglasses, a lot of sound can get in there and be disturbing.  My lady complained about her ears ringing and I smacked my stupid forehead, remembering that I forgot to give her a pair of earplugs, too. Dummy! 

Let's remember that ladies sometimes have a lot more sensitivity to noise and whatever (that's why they're ladies) and the noise can be pretty disturbing.   You know there are some dogs (even big ones) who are sensitive to loud noises like thunder and will cower and shake under the bed in a storm.  I suspect it may be a built-in neurological reaction.  I base this on the fact that in a certain breed of rats or mice (forget which), the mere jangling of a set of keys will induce siezures in them.

All turned out OK with my lady friend since she had posted one of her targets in her garage and her Dad noticed it and said, "Good Shooting."  About a month later she wanted to go again.

Many firearms instructors have remarked that women seem to be better shots than men.  This has been attributed to various things, like better fine motor control and the willingness to take instructions.  Probably true.

I close these random (and incomplete) thoughts with this:



There are a couple of anecdotes about that lady carrying a gun around.

Terry, 230RN

PS.  That's Eleanor Roosevelt

Gradual acclimization seems to work well. On www.corneredcat.com, there's an article about getting your lady to like shooting, except that right up front she says that there's no sure-fire way to do it.  She does give a pretty good list of things you can do that will definitely make her hate guns.      I'd recommend reading it.

For the Women:   http://www.hawaiirifleassociation.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2051&sid=f3097c4b55f1c6851395ca0c4f941220

OK guys, go to the HRA forums, April, 2011 news letter.  Article written BY a Woman FOR WOMEN.

Print it out and ASK the SO to PLEASE read with an Open Mind.

FYI:  At the last LIFE class I assisted in teaching, we had one woman come out Because of the article.

Others had read the article because their SO asked them to and they liked the article.

If your SO is interested, have her contact LIFE about taking a class.  If she is interested. you guys say YES DEAR and PAY for her class.

This maybe the ONLY chance you have of her going to shoot a gun without your nagging etc.

LIFE has had very Positive effect on Women and guns. 

If your SO comes out of the class with a changed attitude and wants a particular gun(s) and is willing to come out to the HRA fun shoots, you bring her out.

Usually, we instructors have enough guns for beginners to shoot.  Just bring the proper ammo for the gun(s) she wants to shoot.

Remember, ASK the SO Nicely.  Do not nag, badger, harrass or otherwise be a pain in the A-- to her about firearms and shooting.

BTW:  If she liked the article, Positive feedback will be appreciated and more women oriented articles will appear.

Gradual acclimization seems to work well. On www.corneredcat.com, there's an article about getting your lady to like shooting, except that right up front she says that there's no sure-fire way to do it.  She does give a pretty good list of things you can do that will definitely make her hate guns.      I'd recommend reading it.

That is a great site! Hey, that gives me an idea...

I feel like the country mouse who wandered into the city.  Where I live, the police response time is around 45 minutes, so women who don't feel comfortable with guns...get over it.  If you act like food, you will be eaten.....

I feel like the country mouse who wandered into the city.  Where I live, the police response time is around 45 minutes, so women who don't feel comfortable with guns...get over it.  If you act like food, you will be eaten.....

I rememeber when HiCarry was on that morning special a while back, the HRA lady said it pretty well "A lot of women have a false sense of security." After hearing that I told my wife that,,,,,,,,,,and said it like I made it up cause it sounded really good......

 By the way, please tell that lady thank you for me HiCarry Awesome Info

I just repeat the breaking news to my wife:

Home invasion
Assault
Armed robbery
Home invasion
Rape of elderly woman

etc etc.  No lies.  She used to live in a bubble.  Didn't know what a chronic was until I pointed one out to her.

I consider myself fortunate then, since the wife has a Sig P226 Dark Elite for herself. 

My wife isn't scared of guns, she just doesn't want to take the time to learn how to use one. She'll go with me to the range and shoot a little, but not enought to learn how to hit the targets. She'd rather just sit there and watch me. It's kind of frustrating that she won't learn but I don't think there is anything you can really do to someone that doesn't want to learn. I've set aside a gun for her and told her it's hers just in case she wants to start learning.

My wife isn't scared of guns, she just doesn't want to take the time to learn how to use one. She'll go with me to the range and shoot a little, but not enought to learn how to hit the targets. She'd rather just sit there and watch me. It's kind of frustrating that she won't learn but I don't think there is anything you can really do to someone that doesn't want to learn. I've set aside a gun for her and told her it's hers just in case she wants to start learning.

I and that problem.

I used to "decide" which gun was best for her and that didn't work.

She enjoys shooting 22's but didn't shoot anything larger until I gave her the green light to pick anything she wanted at all.

She eventually settled on a Sig Sauer P232 Stainless as her SHTF gun.

Not what I would have chosen for her but she likes it so it is what she shoots.

What I keep saying, bring her out to the different Shooting events, let her shoot anything/everything.

There just may be one gun she likes best. 

If she hasn't taken the gun class, PAY for her to take it.  More than likely she'll find the gun she likes.

That's the one YOU buy for her.

After that ASK her if she wants to go to the FUN Shoots.  IF/When she says yes, you pay ALL her expenses, Ammo, Lunch, eyes n ears.

Do Not let her shoot paper. Put up balloons , saloon pilots or similar stuff that she can see when she hits it.  Paper is Boring for most women.

If you know other guys in similar situations, try to get them to ask their SO to go out with yours.  Women like shooting with other Women and They

will ALL enjoy it more and be more willing to go shooting again.

If there is Enough interest HRA/LIFE just may had a Ladies Fun Shoot.

If you guys are interested, contact me and us guys can work to make it a Fun Ladies Event.  Plan is for COOL part of early 2012

I don't want it to be an All Day event.  Just in the COOL part of the Morning.  My Wife and yours I'm sure, are Not happy in the Hot Sun(even with tent).

I just repeat the breaking news to my wife:

Home invasion
Assault
Armed robbery
Home invasion
Rape of elderly woman

etc etc.  No lies.  She used to live in a bubble.  Didn't know what a chronic was until I pointed one out to her.

Tell her a chronic is just like kingkeoni except he's into guns and they are into a certain type of drug.............

Quote from: Jaydawg on September 11, 2011, 09:08:16 PM

I just repeat the breaking news to my wife:

Home invasion
Assault
Armed robbery
Home invasion
Rape of elderly woman

etc etc.  No lies.  She used to live in a bubble.  Didn't know what a chronic was until I pointed one out to her.

Tell her a chronic is just like kingkeoni except he's into guns and they are into a certain type of drug.............

kingkeoni gets the whenever he's around guns.

Quote from: GZire on September 12, 2011, 09:46:46 AM

Quote from: Jaydawg on September 11, 2011, 09:08:16 PM

Tell her a chronic is just like kingkeoni except he's into guns and they are into a certain type of drug.............

kingkeoni gets the whenever he's around guns.

Both of these statements are ........ True 

I'm almost in the exact same boat as 2AHawaii. The wife-to-be doesn't dislike guns, but it's also not her thing. Her thing is yoga. heh.

Funny thing though. Her first gun ever fired with me is the AR. Then I bought a 10/22 and let her try that. She thought it was boring, lol.

Took her to the shooting fair and had her try different handguns. She really liked the Beretta 92FS, so I bought it for myself (her). But she hasn't shown interest since I bought it. lol. Oh well, it's always there for her if she wants to start. Last thing I want to do is push the issue.

Have to take Old Guy's advice. Don't take her to shoot paper. That's boring as hell for her.

Quote from: crazy cat on September 11, 2011, 06:02:25 PM

I feel like the country mouse who wandered into the city.  Where I live, the police response time is around 45 minutes, so women who don't feel comfortable with guns...get over it.  If you act like food, you will be eaten.....

I rememeber when HiCarry was on that morning special a while back, the HRA lady said it pretty well "A lot of women have a false sense of security." After hearing that I told my wife that,,,,,,,,,,and said it like I made it up cause it sounded really good......

 By the way, please tell that lady thank you for me HiCarry Awesome Info

I will. Thanks.

By the way, that woman is an NRA instructor and Training Counselor and teaches for LIFE. She is a great advocate for getting women trained to use guns effectively and is usually very good at getting women to see the benefit of training as well as exposing many of their misconceptions, especially the "the police will protect you" meme. She was basically raised in an anti-gun family and was only convinced to get training in 2007 when I mentioned that even if I had a gun to protect us, that in all likelihood the bad guy would try to take me out first. Having done that, there would likely be a gun (mine) rolling around the floor and that unless she was familar with using it, the bad guy would then be free to do as he wished with her next. I also provided her with several 911 tapes of women making calls to the police when intruders broke into their homes....most ended up with the woman getting killed....but, one was the lady that hid in the closet with a shotgun and killed the intruder while she was on the phone to 911 waiting for the police to arrive.

I would also suggest that once she agrees to getting some training, that you DO NOT do it yourself. I don't care how good of an instructor you are, she will see you in your "spouse role" and will be suspicious of, and question your suggestions. Let someone else, someone she sees as the "professional" teach her the basics.....I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have had wives and GFs come to the classes who were initially put off guns because of the perceived problems they had with their SOs training tactics......