For what it's worth, although my wife still loathes guns, when she said she was willing to go the range with me, I told her I'd much rather have her take a class, which I'd be willing to sit through with her.  I grew up around firearms, and probably have more experience with them than a good number of instructors, but the old lady has been around way too many Cougar Cock-Ups in other areas.  Based on the fact that she thinks I'm a wild-eyed lunatic when it comes to guns, anything I tried to tell her would be filtered through the, "This guy is Stan Smith (American Dad) personified" lens. 

One of the audio tapes of a woman killed while calling 911



One where the woman shoots the intruder....

http://www.ksdk.com/news/story.aspx?storyid=138185

Powerful stuff, HiCarry!  I skipped over the poor old lady getting killed; heard that one before, don't really want to again.  The old feller at the end done good; he sure didn't sound as scared as I would!     Really, since I started getting involved in Second Amendment stuff out here, I've seen and listened to more 911 calls and surveillance camera footage of people being butchered than any sane person would want to.  People somehow manage to keep their heads buried in the sand, though.  Honestly, I have to bury MY head in the sand, rather than thinking about what would happen to my family if someone broke in while I wasn't home, since the Mrs. is incapable of armed defense. 

In her defense, though, she did let me talk to her about guns tonight, and she kept an open mind, too.  Slow and steady and without being annoying about it wins the race! 

Cougar - It can be a slow process, but IMHO, if you can make the need for protection personal, it helps drive home the importance. Try to frame any discussion on self defense not on just defending herself, but on the other members of your family (assuming you have children, grandchildren...if not, this line of persuasion may not be as effective). It is amazing to what lengths a mother will go to protect her children and if it can be pointed out that anyone willing to hurt her is very likely to also hurt her children, she may be willing to do something to put herself in a better position to protect herself and her children. And, it doesn't necessarily need to be a gun as her first step....maybe introduce her to pepper spray, maybe a knife or flashlight. Maybe a women's self defense course......I especially like to have women take a "full-contact" type of course (full contact on the opponent...) class. They soon realize the great disadvantage they face when threatened by a man. I find that this alone will convince them they need an "equalizer."

Good luck....and if she ever decides to take a firearms class, let me know. I know I am a bit biased, but almost all of the women that take our class end up being much more comfortable with, and more willing to continue practicing with firearms.

Aloha

Thanks for the tips, HiCarry.  I've been using the slow and steady approach for a while now.  I think the thing to be careful about is harping on the subject all the time, so I prefer to err on the side of not bringing it up enough.  Last night over dinner we did discuss firearms and safety, and I said, "Now, obviously, I'd like you to think shooting is great so we can go to the range together and have lots of fun every day, but I know that's not realistic.  What I would like, though, is for you to take a course so that you're at least familiar enough to use the guns that I have if you need to.  I worry about something happening to you and the wee one when I'm gone to sea, and I'd feel better knowing you could use a gun if you had to."  That  led to what I consider a major breakthrough when she admitted that it would be good to know, and went on to describe a situation where it would be comforting to have that knowledge.  I pretty much called that a victory and let it go at that.  I'm hoping that if I just kind of sit back and let the idea percolate in her head, she'll eventually kind of convince herself that she *wants* to take a course.  Obviously that's much better than taking a course because Hubby twisted her arm to get her to sign up, and she'll be more likely to enjoy it.  I basically don't bring it up, but I know she see's the stuff I post on my facebook, and I do make it a point to invite her to the range when I go, although I only ask once and drop it as soon as she says no.  I've been surprised at her progress so far, so I guess what I'm doing must be working!  :fingerscrossed:

Cougar: Sounds like you're doing things right...progress is progress. When and if the situation presents itself, I am pretty sure I can get my GF to talk to her (she's the woman in the video of the radio program mentioned earlier...). She has a pretty good record of helping the girls see the benefit of training even if they don't ever really "get into" guns. Good luck. And, to you and all our service members, thanks for what you do for us and our country! Mahalo!

The best thing you can do is put your wife with one of the HDF or LIFE instructors imo, as Hicarry points out -- your spouse will likely not listen to you.  When you correct her it will be 'nagging' or giving her a 'hard time'; one of us could say the same thing , at the same time, and have a totally different outcome.

Train your kids -- pass the wife or girlfriend off to someone else. And plus, most of us are there to shoot why not let someone else do the hard work!

I would also suggest that once she agrees to getting some training, that you DO NOT do it yourself.

Ay-men to that.  You give her the basics --this is the bang switch, this is the safety (on which you don't rely), this is how the sights look on a bullseye or balloon, don't point it at anything you don't want a hole in, this is how the trigger feels before it goes bang (a little dry-firing), mention the importance of a consistent grip, and a few excercises in muzzle control and "safe" directions.  ( I used to use a long dowel rubber-banded to the barrel/slide to make them more conscious of where that muzzle is being waved.)

And don't start them out at 200 yards.

And make sure their blouses are buttoned up to the neck.  (One bad experience with hot cartridge case versus her cleavage, but worth mentioning, I suppose.)


Then you line her up with a good pro.

Oh, I'll definitely be leaving the formal training to someone else.  About as far as I want to go with it is getting her familiar with the parts and function of the gun, everything else I'll leave up to the professionals.  I'm sure I could do it as well as anyone, but as has been stated, the problem is that in her mind, as previously mentioned, I'm like a cross between Homer Simpson and Stan Smith! 

When I went to register my firearm I asked my wife to help me carry my firearm paperwork folder in, cause I had to carry my rifle case, wallet and phone As soon as we got in I did all my transfer paperwork in front of her.... I asked the guy behind the glass if my wife could apply for a "LongGun" permit..

He said "yeah sure.. just have her fill this out."  I handed her the paperwork and she just started filling it out as I helped her promptly After doing the whole transaction she said "That wasn't too bad...when can I take the pistol class?" 

The "LongGun" permit was like a "Gateway" (drug) permit

You could always just be blunt.

I asked mine if she had the chance to prevent being raped or robbed would she do it. She said hell yes, but then said she doubted she could overpower a man, especially one that was intoxicated or drugged up.

I handed her a pistol and the light went on.

Done and done.

Somtimes simplicity is the best.

My wife initially hated guns but after taking her out shooting (not in hawaii) and she laid down suppressive fire with my AR she loved it.  She still isnt too much a fan of handguns but does go out and shoot with me every so often to get accustomed/comfortable with it and her mindset of using it to protect our family went up once we had our son.

I'm about at the end of my rope.  She's made some progress here and there, (or so I thought) but it's pretty obvious she feels the same way she always has.  Today she told me that all guns should be confiscated and that the police should search houses periodically to make sure there are no guns.   She lives in la-la land.  She told me tonight that the answer to evil people is goodness and morals!  Honestly, I'm losing my marbles over this bs.

Some of you might have read the article I posted on HawaiiCCW.com this weekend.  In the same vein, I think this goes beyond a simple question of child safety and gets into something deeper.  This isn't a question of what kind of outlet covers to buy, or how to secure the toxic cleaning chemicals, or how to keep the kid out of the guns.  It's not about whether or not we have a certain tool in a certain location; she doesn't want me to use a firearm to defend her or our child.  She doesn't realize, or perhaps doesn't care, that this is causing an existential crisis for me.  She's asking me to abdicate one of the most basic responsibilities of a husband and a father, and choose  between being a shitty husband/father by trusting the safety of my family to dumb luck, or being a shitty husband/father by providing for the defense of the family over her objections, thereby causing arguments, fights, and possibly divorce.

What a goddamn pickle!

You could always just be blunt.

I asked mine if she had the chance to prevent being raped or robbed would she do it. She said hell yes, but then said she doubted she could overpower a man, especially one that was intoxicated or drugged up.

I handed her a pistol and the light went on.

Done and done.

Somtimes simplicity is the best.

I wish.  My wife would "run away".  If someone kicked in the door she could be out the window with the baby before they got to her.     No mention of what the baby or her wheelchair-bound father are supposed to do.  Kick rocks, I guess.  Even so, I can't even get her to comprehend that a person with a gun in their hand is just as fast as an unarmed one.  Having access to a gun doesn't preclude running away!  Duh.  (Red Badge of Courage, anyone?)

I always thought that this poster was hyperbole, but I'm afraid my dear wife really believes this!

Coug, I'm sorry for the predicament you are in. It's hard enough dealing with those types of people on forums. I can't imagine what it would be like having a wife like that. I can only hope that with time and maybe a firearms safety class or hunters ed class, she can come to understand why you feel the way you do.

Coug, I'm sorry for the predicament you are in. It's hard enough dealing with those types of people on forums. I can't imagine what it would be like having a wife like that. I can only hope that with time and maybe a firearms safety class or hunters ed class, she can come to understand why you feel the way you do.

Thanks, bro.  Haha, unfortunately, the gun-control/CCW/self-defense debate isn't something I can dabble in on the internet and then call it a day, I'm up to my eyeballs in 2nd Amendment battles every day!  Oh, well, such is life, I suppose.  Every once in a while I just hit the wall and need to vent.  Dr. 2aHawaii.com to the rescue!   

Cougar, 
 
I am sorry about the situation you are in.  It is hard to convey that reality and ideal are two different things, especially if ones life experience never included life or death situations, requiring LEO backup, or any other type of back up for that matter. (I'm assuming, forgive me if I am mistaken)

Some folks just don't understand that in many situations, the only one that will be there to defend you, is you, and if you are not adequately equipped to deal with what is going down, well then, you get hurt, maimed, or killed.  Why some poeple don't want to take on that responiblity, to protect yourself and your loved ones, is beyond me.
 
Slow and steady education on these points may swing the vote in your favor, hopefully. Patients and time will tell.  Good luck.

My wife and I took Hunter's Ed together a few years back... but when time came for the actual firearms discussion she was an adamant "NO".  I should have, instead of asking her first, bought a gun and then ask for forgiveness afterwards.  He reasoning was that if she got drunk she may just shoot me, or something like that.  Then I proceeded to show her (probably not one of the smarter things I could've done) all the various "weapons" around the house... like the ballpeen hammer, the axe, several kitchen knives, etc. 

So for several months I kept mentioning that I was going to purchase a firearm... she said no, no, no, and more no.  Then proceeded to make some crazy whacked out retail therapy purchases.  My friends claim that she was "gun blocking" me, but I think she would have made the same purchases regardless.  I'm chang, so if she spends big I won't. 

I don't know what happened next, but when I asked again, she was okay with a handgun... not a rifle, nor a shotgun... but her preference was in that order... handgun, rifle, shogun, which was the exact reverse order that I wanted to eventually purchase firearms.

Anyhow, recently I purchased my first two firearms, a shotgun and a rifle.  I hid it from her...but I mentioned dozens of times that THIS was the month I was going to buy something.  She kinda just ignored me.  Unfortunately, the other day I noticed the shotgun starting to rust...I was freaking out.  After using some coating and oil I realized that I couldn't hide the guns from her anymore... especially if I wanted to maintain them and keep them rust proof (still have almost NO idea what I'm doing...help!!!).  So we talked...

And she was like.. "I KNEW YOU BOUGHT GUNS AND WERE HIDING THEM!!!"  and made this face of total satisfaction as if she won some long drawn out battle... and I explained to her, well, gun's gonna rust...so I have to oil it and clean it and all that stuff and if I keep it hidden I can't adequately do all that... and the gun(s) were expensive... Now if there's anyone more chang than me, it's her... so I thnk she's cool with it now...

Lesson learned... 

A. don't hide gun from spouse.

B. learn about rust prevention...!

C. insteading of asking for permission, it's much much better to ask for forgiveness!

Plus she bought COMPOSTING WORMS....what the heck???  She called me one early morning when I was still delirious and said, "honey, I'm buying worms."  I woke up to a fruit breakfast (NEVER happens), and I was so happy... until i found out she wanted the watermelon rines for her WORMS.  Serious?

Someone broke into my car in GA... I went straight to walmart and bought a 20 gauge.

It was laying on the kitchen table when the wife got home... she was like "uhhh what is this?"

Someone broke into my car in GA... I went straight to walmart and bought a 20 gauge.

It was laying on the kitchen table when the wife got home... she was like "uhhh what is this?"

See, the buy first method works!