Jokes? Jokes, anyone... (Read 656482 times)

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #900 on: April 04, 2017, 11:40:55 PM »
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Rocky

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #901 on: April 12, 2017, 12:02:11 PM »
   The other day Rockette sez to me our daughter left a message  saying she had some important news to share with us and would call us later.

Of course daddy mode kicked in and I said, Ya think she's pregnant?

To which Rockette replied " Impossible, she has an IED.   :shake: :shake: :shake:


 :rofl: :rofl:

“I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.”
                                                           Franklin D. Roosevelt

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #902 on: April 15, 2017, 05:01:12 PM »
This is why the human race is doomed ....

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

mrgaf

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #903 on: April 15, 2017, 07:50:28 PM »
Some funnies..... :shaka:
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.  Thomas Paine.

No man can get rich in politics unless he is a crook.  It cannot be done. Harry Truman

Only good liberal is one taking a dirt nap.

littlemisssunshine

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #904 on: April 16, 2017, 09:02:09 PM »
Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Opportunity!

That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!

"Guns don't kill people, people kill people."
A network analyst at PetStreetMall, a place to find quality and affordable pet supplies.

Bunker

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #905 on: April 20, 2017, 06:10:30 PM »

Rocky

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #906 on: April 20, 2017, 06:19:26 PM »
“I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.”
                                                           Franklin D. Roosevelt

Mr. Farknocker

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #907 on: April 20, 2017, 08:24:11 PM »
In light of the recent events that have drawn negative attention to the airlines,  United Airlines has kicked off a campaign to boost consumer confidence and reclaim it's dominance in the industry with a new corporate motto.  Of the 200 suggestions offered, the committee has narrowed it down to the top 15:

1.  “Drag and Drop”

2.  “We put the hospital in hospitality”

3.  “Board as a doctor, leave as a patient”

4.  “Our prices can’t be beaten, but our passengers can”

5.  “We have First Class, Business Class and No Class”

6.  “Not enough seating, prepare for a beating”

7.  “We treat you like we treat your luggage”

8.  “We beat the customer. Not the competition”

9.  “And you thought leg room was an issue”

10.  “Where voluntary is mandatory”

11.  “Fight or flight. We decide”

12.  “Now offering one free carry off”

13.  “Beating random customers since 2017”

14.  “If our staff needs a seat, we’ll drag you out by your feet”

15.  “A bloody good airline"
« Last Edit: April 20, 2017, 08:34:44 PM by Mr. Farknocker »

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #908 on: April 24, 2017, 11:45:19 PM »
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #909 on: April 27, 2017, 12:39:24 AM »
In case you didn't have enough reasons to hate Facebook....

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #910 on: April 27, 2017, 10:47:09 PM »
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #911 on: April 29, 2017, 04:56:45 PM »
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #912 on: April 29, 2017, 05:24:32 PM »
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Jl808

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #913 on: April 29, 2017, 06:02:51 PM »
I think, therefore I am armed.
NRA Life Patron member, HRA Life member, HiFiCo Life Member, HDF member

The United States Constitution © 1791. All Rights Reserved.

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #914 on: May 01, 2017, 11:28:35 PM »
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #915 on: May 04, 2017, 11:03:37 PM »
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

littlemisssunshine

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #916 on: May 05, 2017, 02:54:24 AM »


Do you dare to know if there's a life after death?  >:D
"Guns don't kill people, people kill people."
A network analyst at PetStreetMall, a place to find quality and affordable pet supplies.

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #917 on: May 05, 2017, 11:12:33 AM »
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #918 on: May 06, 2017, 09:58:09 PM »
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Jl808

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #919 on: May 07, 2017, 08:25:22 AM »
^^ LOL
I think, therefore I am armed.
NRA Life Patron member, HRA Life member, HiFiCo Life Member, HDF member

The United States Constitution © 1791. All Rights Reserved.