Coffee with Jesus

A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes"! So, the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant, was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light!

He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?

The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly so everyone in the restaurant could hear.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up and began to praise the Lord. Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, he raised his hands and he, too, began to praise the Lord. Then, Jesus walked, with a huge smile on his face, towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me....... I'm on disability."

For Those Who Understand, No Explanation is necessary.

For Those Who Do Not Understand,

No explanation is possible.

This was actually the first meme I posted to the internet on myspace.

 

 
I just revisited this thread....hilarious 

Q: What did the Indian say to the white woman when she tied his penis in a knot?

A: "How Come?"

Q: What did the Indian say to the white woman when she tied his penis in a knot?

A: "How Come?"

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Is that the Percocet talking?

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Is that the Percocet talking?

Ug!

Black Rifle coffee commercial.

A penguin is driving through the desert, when his car breaks down. Fortunately, he's near a service station, so he pulls in, and the mechanic says he'll take a look, but it'll be about half an hour.

The penguin is boiling in this heat. He's from somewhere cold, you know. So he goes to the convenience store attached to the service station, and he buys an ice cream bar. He's eating it, and it cools him off some, but it's the desert, so the ice cream starts melting all of his face, his flippers, it's a big mess.

Just then, the mechanic comes out, wipes the grease off his hands on an oily rag, and says to the penguin, "Well, it looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin shakes his head and says, "Aw, no man. It's just ice cream!"

   

 Superman was flying around Metropolis looking for trouble when he spotted Wonder Woman apparently sunbathing nude on top of a building. "Well," he thought to himself, "I’m so fast I bet I could fly down there and nail her before she even knew what hit her." So he undid his yellow belt, lowered his red shorts, flew down, did his thing and soared off into the Metropolitan sky. Wonder Woman lay stunned. "What was that?" she asked, "I don’t know," groaned the Invisible Man, "but my ass sure is sore now."

    :oops