Borrowed from a friend....May strike too close to home for some. Stay at home observations:
1. Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
2. I used to spin the toilet paper like I was on “Wheel of Fortune.” Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.
3. I need to practice social distancing from ... the refrigerator.
4. Still haven’t decided where to go ... The Living Room or The Bedroom.
5. PSA: Every few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believing all is well in the kingdom.
6. Homeschooling is going well. Two students suspended for fighting and one teacher fired for drinking on the job!
7. I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to Twilight Zone.
8. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into the house, told my dog...we laughed a lot.
9. So, after this quarantine, will the producers of “My 600-Pound Life” just find me or do I find them?
10. My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
11. Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
12. Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said: “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year.” I’m offended.
My Self-Isolation Quarantine Diary:
Day 1 – I can do this!! Got enough food and wine to last a month!
Day 2 – Opening my 8th bottle of wine. I fear wine supplies might not last!
Day 3 – Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Who Knew??
Day 4 – 8 p.m.: Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas.
Day 5 – Today, I tried to make hand sanitizer. It came out as Jell-O Shots!!
Day 6 – I get to take the garbage out. I’m so excited, I can’t decide what to wear.
Day 7 – Laughing way too much at my own jokes!!
Day 8 – Went to a new restaurant call
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