What did 50 cent do when he was hungry?

58

Since you went there ....   

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ?


Because 7-8-9.

I thought this was pretty funny

if you don't know what it means to be Jewish,

you might be anti-semantic.

 

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

Hard to say ... but their flag's a big plus.

My wife said she's tired of me sitting around doing nothing.

So, I took up meditation.

 

I went to the doctor complaining of pain all over my body -- my legs, my chest, my forehead, my shoulder.  No matter what body part i poked, it hurt like hell.

The doctor sent me home with a splint for my broken finger.

 

Why don’t dogs make good dancers?

Because they have two left feet.



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It's estimated that 94% of all Yugos sold in Amerca are still on the road.

The remaining 6% made it back home.

There are about 8,550 species of sponges in the oceans.  Some species have been around for 600 million years.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without those things.

 

A prepper friend of mine gave me a canister of powered water.

I still don't know what to add.

it took a few seconds, but I got it

it took a few seconds, but I got it

At least that tranny can be rebuilt to factory specs.

    

it took a few seconds, but I got it

I was going to post that I need a few days, lol!  But I got it after a minute or so.....

 

A reporter was covering a Democrat Party fundraiser a couple of years back.  Outside the convention hall was a kid with a box marked, "BIDEN KITTENS FOR SALE".

Two weeks later, there was a Republican fundraiser at the same venue.  The reporter recognized the kid with the same half dozen kittens, but the box now read, "TRUMP KITTENS FOR SALE." 

Figuring the kid was just catering to his customers' politics, the reporter asked playfully, "Hey, kid.  What's the difference between a Biden Kitten and a Trump Kitten?"

The kid replied, "Now their eyes are open."

 

Why is the IRS now going after Stormy Daniels?


She under-reported her gross income.

Mom greeted dad at the door when he came home from work.  She was livid! 

She had been cleaning and found bondage attire and S&M magazines in their son's room.

Mom asked breathlessly, "Well?  What are we going to do?"

Dad said, "I'm no expert, but I think spanking is out."

 

I went on one of those Speed Dating things once.  One woman asked me how I would describe myself in the bedroom.

I said I'm like a wild animal -- more afraid of people than they are of me.