Jokes? Jokes, anyone... (Read 658617 times)

oldfart

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1460 on: February 29, 2024, 07:23:33 AM »
Enter a contest to meet 3 presidents.
This is not a joke, but it should be.
What, Me Worry?

QUIETShooter

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1461 on: February 29, 2024, 07:50:07 AM »
Enter a contest to meet 3 presidents.
This is not a joke, but it should be.

 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

There has GOT to be a puchline somewhere in there......
Sometimes you gotta know when to save your bullets.

oldfart

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1462 on: February 29, 2024, 08:24:17 AM »
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

There has GOT to be a puchline somewhere in there......
============
That one picture is worth a thousand words.jokes.
What, Me Worry?

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1463 on: February 29, 2024, 09:59:44 AM »
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

There has GOT to be a puchline somewhere in there......

Two Men and a Baby Sniffer?

Three strikes and We're Out?

The Three Anti-Musketeers.

How many Democrat Presidents does it take for the US fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan to end?

Which of these is not like the others?

A rapist, a racist and a pedophile walk into a bar ...
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

oldfart

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1464 on: February 29, 2024, 10:01:39 AM »
Darn, those are good jokes.
What, Me Worry?

Rocky

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1465 on: February 29, 2024, 01:32:32 PM »
Enter a contest to meet 3 presidents.

Is it a marksmanship contest ?
“I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.”
                                                           Franklin D. Roosevelt

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1466 on: February 29, 2024, 03:19:03 PM »
Is it a marksmanship contest ?

That loud knock at your door at 2am will be the Secret Service .....

 :shake:
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

QUIETShooter

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1467 on: February 29, 2024, 03:25:46 PM »
Two Men and a Baby Sniffer?

Three strikes and We're Out?

The Three Anti-Musketeers.

How many Democrat Presidents does it take for the US fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan to end?

Which of these is not like the others?

A rapist, a racist and a pedophile walk into a bar ...

 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Sometimes you gotta know when to save your bullets.

oldfart

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1468 on: February 29, 2024, 04:20:49 PM »
That loud knock at your door at 2am will be the Secret Service .....

 :shake:
....
A friend of mine actually spent some time in federal prison for making threats against Obama. I had lunch with him a few weeks ago. He's a funny guy but the SS didn't think so.
What, Me Worry?

QUIETShooter

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1469 on: February 29, 2024, 06:55:41 PM »
Just tell the Secret Service the marksmanship involves pin the tail on the donkey.  No firearms involved. :shaka:

In this case donkeys.

I'm pretty sure they will concur.
Sometimes you gotta know when to save your bullets.

Rocky

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1470 on: March 01, 2024, 08:08:10 AM »
That loud knock at your door at 2am will be the Secret Service .....

 :shake:
This is a firearms website.
What other type of contest could it be ?  ::)
“I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.”
                                                           Franklin D. Roosevelt

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1471 on: March 01, 2024, 08:52:35 AM »
This is a firearms website.
What other type of contest could it be ?  ::)

We have political and off topic areas for a reason.  Many discussions (probably more than most at this point) are non-firearm related.

I didn't see guns mentioned in the Taylor Swift threads .... just sayin'.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

aletheuo137

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1472 on: March 01, 2024, 01:15:03 PM »
Did you know that out of all the countries in the world the United States is the only country where men can get pregnant?

Sent from my moto g power (2021) using Tapatalk

mrgaf

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1473 on: March 01, 2024, 06:03:50 PM »
Ok got a good one….

What’s 10 inches long and white?
.
.
.
.
NOTHING…… :o
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.  Thomas Paine.

No man can get rich in politics unless he is a crook.  It cannot be done. Harry Truman

Only good liberal is one taking a dirt nap.

oldfart

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1474 on: March 01, 2024, 07:51:59 PM »
What, Me Worry?

aletheuo137

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1475 on: March 02, 2024, 09:43:52 AM »
https://youtube.com/watch?v=jvujypVVBAY

Sent from my moto g power (2021) using Tapatalk

mrgaf

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1476 on: March 05, 2024, 05:28:43 PM »
What did god use to part the Red Sea?
.
.
.
.
A sea saw……. O0
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.  Thomas Paine.

No man can get rich in politics unless he is a crook.  It cannot be done. Harry Truman

Only good liberal is one taking a dirt nap.

oldfart

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1477 on: March 05, 2024, 05:44:06 PM »
Alien dad jokes are my new favorite.
https://youtu.be/HyIcOikc3Aw?feature=shared
What, Me Worry?

oldfart

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1478 on: March 05, 2024, 07:11:04 PM »


Need to get this sign for the state Capitol building.
What, Me Worry?

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1479 on: March 05, 2024, 07:19:55 PM »
Dad was working on the car one Saturday before dinnertime, and his 6-year-old son came outside.

After a minute of dad explaining what he was up to, his son asked, "Dad?  What's sex?"

The father was thrown for a loop.  He'd always known that he'd have to have "the talk" with his son.  if they'd had a daughter, this duty would have fallen on mom's shoulders.  Although he didn't think it would have been so soon -- at 6!  But, being a responsible and dutiful father, he didn't want to lie to him, and he sure didn't want him learning it from classmates or movies.

Dad told his son to have a seat on the steps, and then he proceeded to give his son the A-B-Cs of the Bird's and the Bees.

Afterward, with his kid's eyes wide and mouth agape, dad asked him, "Do you have any questions, son?"

He replied, "No, sir.  I came outside to tell you mom said dinner would be ready in a couple of secs."

 :geekdanc: :rofl:
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw