I was at Safeway one day and a lady and her kid were in front of me. The chubby kid looked to be about 10 years old. The line was long enough that I had to leave a space for other people to pass through our line and I noticed the kid's foot was stuck out and bumped a shopping cart or someone's leg. I didn't think much of it at first as I figured the kid just didn't pay attention. Well along comes a couple in their late 50's or early 60's and I see the boy stick his foot out again after the man passes but before the woman passes. The woman trips on the boys foot but thankfully catches herself. She looks back at the boy and then at me because I was watching to make sure she was ok. The kid's mom (or grandma) didn't see what happened and the boy didn't do it again. He did get in his mom's face in a strange way, just physically close and looked her in the eye. I couldn't tell if he was maybe special needs or just a spoiled fat turd who likes tripping old ladies.

I was debating whether or not to say anything to the boy or the lady and ended up doing nothing. Had the lady fallen or gotten hurt I would have said something to the lady about her kid's actions.

But here is my question: What would you do in the circumstance or in any similar circumstance where someone else's kid is causing problems? Lets say the kid pockets a candy bar or any other action that isn't putting someone else in immediate danger? Give the kid a stern look? Scold the kid? Tell the kid's parent?

Social interactions are not my best skill and I wouldn't want to get in a pissing match if the parent got defensive so I am trying to think what the best course of action is. If I scold the kid the parent might yell at me. If I tell the parent what their kid did they might claim I am lying or tell me to mind my own business. I would probably tell them I wouldn't have to mind my own business if they raised their kid properly. But given my luck the kid would probably be some sort of special needs and him or the parent would cause some big scene.

I remember being scolded by strangers for little things as a small kid and it would sure startle me. Sometimes it seems like it might make a difference between who is doing the scolding. A little old lady vs a big guy for example (I am not a little old lady).


When I was high school age I remember some small kids in a video game store who were trying to take game boy games through a small opening in the display case. I never said anything to the kids or the store employee and I still feel like I choked back then.

Maybe the kid knows all those people he was trying to trip and it's a game they play. Maybe they are all from the same family. As an outsider it is hard to tell.

Maybe the kid knows all those people he was trying to trip and it's a game they play. Maybe they are all from the same family. As an outsider it is hard to tell.

Was hoping for some comments that were a little more constructive.

Great question! 

I think most of us choke at some time or another and do not speak up.  Why?

Maybe because we are not prepared to respond as we wish.  Just like thinking through a situation of an intruder breaking into your home in the middle of the night - which I would hope that all of us had done, we need to think through how we would want to respond/speak up.  Or we choke.

After some thought, I would probably tell the kid that "I saw what you just did" and then get the attention of his parent/guardian and explain to them what I just witnessed.  No accusations/innuendos of intent or that the kid is a rotten punk.  Simply a statement of the fact of what I witnessed.  Then it is up to the parent/guardian to (hopefully) handle it with the minor.  I think a significant criteria to determine whether to address it or not is "can someone get hurt if this kid continues to do this?"

But, I would have probably choked and not said anything either if I was in your situation which is why I say that you pose a great question so we can ponder it.  I am not saying that we need to think through every possible scenario because that is insane, but simply that in general "how will we respond" when we witness a similar event.  Kind of a "prepper" thing, but for a different purpose - a gentler, kinder society.  I think a youtuber posted a video about the sheepdog concept . . .

Interesting thread.  Surprised by the OP.

I am like he, avoid social interaction, (Aspergers?) basically do not like people.  Would just have given the fat kid the stink eye so he knew he was busted.  If he looked to be setting up again, push cart up to kill his game.  assuming I was that alert, of course.

Only if the women being tripped got injured would I go into asshole mode, which is not so far under the surface as it should be now that I am approaching Olde Farte status.

Sounds like this was only a game for the fat kid to be played on unsuspecting adults  Parent was disconnected., likely staring at an iFag phone or the tabloid magazines.

I agree with  wirecounter and robtmc.  I would also recommend taking a video, since video don't lie or have selected memory. 

Or the simply close up the space with my cart to deny the kid the opportunity  Other may think u are inconsiderate, but those that matter, you, your family,  god, and the person you save (like jumping on the grenade or taking that bullet), you are doing the right thing.

Thanks for the replies. I was thinking that if I were in a uniform of some sort, say as a security guard, or a store employee, it would be easier to say something.

I was thinking that the best course of action was to just tell the mom what I had seen in a neutral manner but if she got defensive that is where I would have problems. I mean I could handle it but it would be something I prefer to avoid. Now if it was a big braddah I might hesitate even more. I can sure say that standing out to do the right thing is a lot easier said than done. I think there is a japanese saying that says the nail sticking out gets hammered.

I am no social butterfly either. Online forums are easy because you have time to think out your responses. In person I am rarely quick witted to reply with sharp come-backs.  Sometimes it is nice to have the wife hand to bounce off ideas since I may say something that is inappropriate. Structured social responses don't always follow some objective logical reasoning making it difficult to always tell what behavior would be appropriate or interpreting others behavior. It is not strong enough in me to be obvious probably but it is enough to throw a wrench in things sometimes. Honesty will sometimes get me in trouble.

Thanks for the replies. I was thinking that if I were in a uniform of some sort, say as a security guard, or a store employee, it would be easier to say something.

I was thinking that the best course of action was to just tell the mom what I had seen in a neutral manner but if she got defensive that is where I would have problems. I mean I could handle it but it would be something I prefer to avoid. Now if it was a big braddah I might hesitate even more. I can sure say that standing out to do the right thing is a lot easier said than done. I think there is a japanese saying that says the nail sticking out gets hammered.

I am no social butterfly either. Online forums are easy because you have time to think out your responses. In person I am rarely quick witted to reply with sharp come-backs.  Sometimes it is nice to have the wife hand to bounce off ideas since I may say something that is inappropriate. Structured social responses don't always follow some objective logical reasoning making it difficult to always tell what behavior would be appropriate or interpreting others behavior. It is not strong enough in me to be obvious probably but it is enough to throw a wrench in things sometimes. Honesty will sometimes get me in trouble.

Yeah
Too bad you don't wear a uniform and aren't in a position of authority...


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Trip da keed. 

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I had those. 

Was hoping for some comments that were a little more constructive.

Just trying to play Devil's Advocate like you always do.

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Yeah
Too bad you don't wear a uniform and aren't in a position of authority...


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You know the drill.
Call 911

When stuff like this happens, it usually takes me a couple of seconds while I sort of digest the "did that really just happen" thoughts.  By the time I have digested that "yeah, that really just happened", the moment passed.  That said, if the lady did fall or I saw it again, I would say something.  If the parent took it the wrong way, whatever.  Allowing the kid to get away with bad behavior only encourages it in the future.  Would the parent react and defend the kid?  Whatever.  At least the kid will know what someone noticed and hopefully they would get an idea that that action wasn't right. 

I was just talking about the "punk kid" thing the other day with a teacher friend.  She teaches 5th grade (at least I think) and I joking told her to remind her kids to not be punks.  What spurred that on was earlier in the day, as I was walking across a cross walk on Kahuhipa St, one of the many "punk kids" I've noticed lately in that area sped through the crosswalk, just behind me.  Enough to make me turn and see the car pass within feet of me.  Probably 18-20 year old kid with their loud exhaust trucks and tats all over.  I told that story just to vent, but she and another Kaneohe resident sort of jumped in and were like, "yeah, it's really bad here now".  Then discussion went to how kids aren't disciplined these days like how we were when we were younger. 

You know the drill.
Call 911

or get a big dog

Going back to the safeway incident, you could have quietly talked to a cashier or employee.
I know for a fact that they have discreet security people working there. (my kid was one of them)