Tim,
Couple of questions:
1) What is your price range for RDS? Understand that $400-$1000 for Aimpoints, EoTechs, etc are quite a bit of cash for some folks. However, there are decent quality options for $150-$200 ish range. I have one (Holosun) on an AR and while I don't shoot it as much as others (mostly a tester gun), it's done great. I've taken courses where the instructors had the same (maybe older or different MOA) and it is fine. I've taken many courses with this group over the years and the RDS is on a gun that gets shot often and is def not babied.
2) Why do you consider your "HD guns" as one that "only sees the range only in a blue moon"? Personally, I shoot and train with mine often, or at least used to. Since I don't shoot my ARs as much as I used to. But I'd have no issues with shooting my AR(s) intended for HD. They have an uber safe life of 5k rounds, and I'd say much more. I personally have multiple, but I can understand those who have one. I think having one gun and "saving it for a rainy day" and not training is a recipe for complacency (not quite disaster).
To answer your question, yes, my HD guns have RDS, AND iron sights. I don't train as often with the irons as I should, but I do train with them. Recently, I even bought an AR upper dedicated to shooting irons only. Yeah, I can shoot the irons I have on the guns I have RDS, but I wanted something more basic/simple.
As for your point shooting, I THINK I get what you are saying. I've seen folks who can do amazing with point shooting. That said, it's one thing if/when it happens versus counting on it to be "guud enuff". I get you don't like cleaning your ARs, ammo is expensive, and range time is hard to fit in your lifestyle. I get it, people have priorities. I def can understand folks that either don't have time or don't want to hit the range to practice and/or train. But seems like you're looking for an "easy button".
Yeah, I've seen said Bushnells (TR25 and similar) do very well on 22s. I believe I know at elast one of your friends mentioned. I've also seen those guns with Bushnells get shot a lot and banged around. However, the recoil on those are nothing. Not that the recoil on 5.56 is a lot either.