That pun is on par with the rest of the hazardous humor here!
If you feel like taking a swing at me, join the club!
I don't expect to be treated in a fairway.
Luckily, I don't have a chip on my shoulder!
I'm bored, I'll play a few rounds.
I think it started while at the wine bar he ordered an OPEN FACE TURKEY CLUB SANDWEDGE. He was sporting WOOD when saw the WAGGLE under the APRON of the BIRDIE of a waitress with the DIMPLES and tried to PITCH a FOURSOME in his CADDIE.
He offered her 10 dollars, but then took BACK NINE
Naturally, his ANGLE OF APPROACH was a downright BARE LIE and his FOLLOW THROUGH was UNPLAYABLE.
The cook whose name was MULLIGAN who was her boyfriend was GREEN with envy and thought this guys BACKSPIN was definitely on the FRINGE of OUT OF BOUNDS so he grabbed his IRON frying pan off the HOOK with an INTERLOCKING GRIP and took a ROUGH SWING at the golfer giving him a GRAND SLAM DIVOT across the GRAIN in his FORE head.
The cook returned with a BACK-SWING which took a SLICE out of the golfers nose and a DOUBLE BOGEY was left hanging.
The HACKER golfer was no longer in the GROOVE after this LIE as the HAZARD had left him with a HANDICAP.
He no longer wanted to PLAY THROUGH even a SHORT GAME with the cook, much less that HOLE of a cook's girlfriend.
He just needed a cup of TEE and a Beef SHANK at the nearby DOUBLE EAGLE Cafe where he would WEDGE himself into a booth and read the FUNNIES.
A golf course is a waste of a perfectly good rifle range.
