Someone broke into my car in GA... I went straight to walmart and bought a 20 gauge.

It was laying on the kitchen table when the wife got home... she was like "uhhh what is this?"

My wife is OK with all the guns, but guns on the kitchen table is a no no.   

Oleg has done a lot of Pro 2A, Anti Gun Control and Pro CC and Pro Firearms Education work.  There are 31 pages in this particular gallery that includes such.  Some of it may be NSFW, for those with sensetive eyes.



Gallery is HERE

I think, like most 2A issues, the real issue is not really about the gun. With some things, I do follow the adage that it's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission, but with something as serious as having a gun in the house, I could not violate my wife's trust that way. This is our household, and she has an equal voice in it. Fortunately, my wife was willing to try shooting and let me have guns, though we still have some disagreements to work out about using them for self-defense (Fortunately, that point is only hypothetical for the moment, as we both think a gun doesn't work in our current apartment.

Anyway, this is just a long-winded way of saying that it's not about the guns, it's about communication, respect, and having her feel that her voice and feelings matter. I'm not nearly as passionate about guns to the point that if it came down to it, I'd consider divorce over giving up my guns, but I'm lucky not to have to make that choice.

If we did have a fundamental disagreement about something I was unwilling to move on, the first thing I'd do is get a neutral mediator. If you keep it between the two of you, it's just going to stay a battle of wills, and one or both of you have to lose eventually, which means even if there is a winner, he/she really loses, as trust and confidence of the other has been shattered. If you go to church, ask your pastor/minister/priest to mediate, and go with an open mind. I think that demonstrating your willingness to do this, especially if you make it clear to her that you really are not trying to "win", should make a great impression on your wife.

And what I always say when asked why I carry.......


For those fortunate to not have to debate this issue with a significant other, good for you.  For those not wishing to disrupt your harmonious existance, that is your choice.  I know where I stand and I can't be everywhere all the time to protect what is important to me.

My WIFE,   AKA:  BattleAxe, yes, she owns 2.

I was 45 before I got married.

My criteria:  Had to LOVE GUNS, Boats with Power, Real Cars/Trucks with Real V-8 HorsePower

Met her at a C & K concert. Went together for a year. During which we did the following.

Took her to the range, she was great with guns.

Took her fishing, Waianae started out perfect, ended up Small Craft Warnings, Victory at Sea conditions, handled situation Beautifully.

Loved my Dodge Power Wagon with 360CID block with cam, compression and 4 bbl carb

While dating, bought her a Dodge Diplomat, same as what HPD drove then, with VHF antenna(yeah, I have a VHF to match)
   
Got married Oct 31, Halloween at the Coco Palms Hotel on Kauai.

Saved my ass 2x due to my medical condition.

Loves high end Berettas just as much as she loves jewelry.

She has her own gun safe with her Stuff in it, everything she values, including the Wedding album.

When push comes to shove, she has my back.  She can be Really Nasty when it comes to covering my ass.

Moral of the story, Maintain your standards, sooner or later,you will find Ms Right for you.

If you want your SO to shoot, show her the articles in the HRA newsletter, written by a Woman for Women.  Apr 2011 and Sept 2011. 

If you like what the Lady writes, let HRA know.  Ask if HRA/LIFE can sponser a Ladies Only Fun Shoot.

Your SO has to come to grips with herself and Her system of Values. 

Once she Really understands what's at stake, turns the corner and begins to shoot, your job is to BUY HER THE GUNS SHE WANTS.
   Not what you think she should shoot.   

Growler: This isn't about the guns. It's not even about being right. Old Guy: That doesn't really help Cougar.

Marriage is tough. If you keep trying to browbeat your wife with logic, especially if she's more of an intuitive type, she'll feel helpless and come to believe she has no voice in the partnership. I've seen this too often with arguing couples, and because I'm a really, really left-brained, stubborn individual, I need to moderate this tendency myself. Sure, you're right ("You're always right."), but if you bully and berate (which is how she'll perceive it) instead of listening, understanding, persuading, and ultimately, if you have to, giving, if you forget that when you have something important to protect, it's not the protecting but what's important, you'll lose it and none of it will matter.

I'm sorry if I sound too much like frickin' Dr. Phil, but I'd hate to see someone's marriage crumble because he got swayed by a bunch of chest-thumping about gun rights on an internet message board.

I think, like most 2A issues, the real issue is not really about the gun. With some things, I do follow the adage that it's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission, but with something as serious as having a gun in the house, I could not violate my wife's trust that way. This is our household, and she has an equal voice in it. Fortunately, my wife was willing to try shooting and let me have guns, though we still have some disagreements to work out about using them for self-defense (Fortunately, that point is only hypothetical for the moment, as we both think a gun doesn't work in our current apartment.

Anyway, this is just a long-winded way of saying that it's not about the guns, it's about communication, respect, and having her feel that her voice and feelings matter. I'm not nearly as passionate about guns to the point that if it came down to it, I'd consider divorce over giving up my guns, but I'm lucky not to have to make that choice.

If we did have a fundamental disagreement about something I was unwilling to move on, the first thing I'd do is get a neutral mediator. If you keep it between the two of you, it's just going to stay a battle of wills, and one or both of you have to lose eventually, which means even if there is a winner, he/she really loses, as trust and confidence of the other has been shattered. If you go to church, ask your pastor/minister/priest to mediate, and go with an open mind. I think that demonstrating your willingness to do this, especially if you make it clear to her that you really are not trying to "win", should make a great impression on your wife.

In your case the difference is timing.

You got married and dated your wife before you had any guns.

I, on the other hand have had guns since well before the wife.

She met me and knew me and dated me and eventually married me knowing that I owned, shot and carried guns.

I think when someone knows that you are a firearm owner and decides to stay with you, they've already decided that guns are o.k.

If you've never touched a gun during the courting and dating and want to own a gun later, your spouse might have a fear of guns that you would have never known anything about because the situation never presented itself in order to make you aware of this.

I don't offer you any advice on your relationship, that's between you and your wife.

I'm just glad that I'm not in that situation. I think we all know the choice I'd make. Hahaha

Quote from: antoinebugleboy on October 17, 2011, 07:05:47 AM

I think, like most 2A issues, the real issue is not really about the gun. With some things, I do follow the adage that it's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission, but with something as serious as having a gun in the house, I could not violate my wife's trust that way. This is our household, and she has an equal voice in it. Fortunately, my wife was willing to try shooting and let me have guns, though we still have some disagreements to work out about using them for self-defense (Fortunately, that point is only hypothetical for the moment, as we both think a gun doesn't work in our current apartment.

Anyway, this is just a long-winded way of saying that it's not about the guns, it's about communication, respect, and having her feel that her voice and feelings matter. I'm not nearly as passionate about guns to the point that if it came down to it, I'd consider divorce over giving up my guns, but I'm lucky not to have to make that choice.

If we did have a fundamental disagreement about something I was unwilling to move on, the first thing I'd do is get a neutral mediator. If you keep it between the two of you, it's just going to stay a battle of wills, and one or both of you have to lose eventually, which means even if there is a winner, he/she really loses, as trust and confidence of the other has been shattered. If you go to church, ask your pastor/minister/priest to mediate, and go with an open mind. I think that demonstrating your willingness to do this, especially if you make it clear to her that you really are not trying to "win", should make a great impression on your wife.

In your case the difference is timing.

You got married and dated your wife before you had any guns.

I, on the other hand have had guns since well before the wife.

She met me and knew me and dated me and eventually married me knowing that I owned, shot and carried guns.

I think when someone knows that you are a firearm owner and decides to stay with you, they've already decided that guns are o.k.

If you've never touched a gun during the courting and dating and want to own a gun later, your spouse might have a fear of guns that you would have never known anything about because the situation never presented itself in order to make you aware of this.

I don't offer you any advice on your relationship, that's between you and your wife.

I'm just glad that I'm not in that situation. I think we all know the choice I'd make. Hahaha

Unless you're really unlucky, in which case the woman you're dating knows you like guns, but thinks she can change you after you get married. 

Currently, I don't have any problems with my wife regarding guns. She goes shooting with me and has fun. If, in the end, we move somewhere I feel we need to consider our guns for defense and she really holds her ground against it, I'll bring home some claymores and ask if that's ok. 

...................Got married Oct 31, Halloween at the Coco Palms Hotel on Kauai.................

Is the Coco Palms even open anymore?

Growler: This isn't about the guns. It's not even about being right. Old Guy: That doesn't really help Cougar.

Marriage is tough. If you keep trying to browbeat your wife with logic, especially if she's more of an intuitive type, she'll feel helpless and come to believe she has no voice in the partnership. I've seen this too often with arguing couples, and because I'm a really, really left-brained, stubborn individual, I need to moderate this tendency myself. Sure, you're right ("You're always right."), but if you bully and berate (which is how she'll perceive it) instead of listening, understanding, persuading, and ultimately, if you have to, giving, if you forget that when you have something important to protect, it's not the protecting but what's important, you'll lose it and none of it will matter.

I'm sorry if I sound too much like frickin' Dr. Phil, but I'd hate to see someone's marriage crumble because he got swayed by a bunch of chest-thumping about gun rights on an internet message board.

It's not that I take too much intarweebs advice, I just vent on here to a sympathetic crowd.  For all you young bucks still dating a potential Mrs. Right, heed the warnings.  When we were dating the topic of guns came up.  I told her I had them, and I'd always have them, and as soon as I moved out of the barracks I was bringing at least some of them out here.  She told me she'd never had guns, never would have guns, and damn sure not in the house.  Rather than have a big scrap, we both shelved it, thinking, "Yeah, right.  Over my dead body, pal."  Now we're married and it turns out neither of us was kidding.   

And I'm not trying to force anything on her, either.  But I do chafe at the restraints she puts on me.  Namely, all guns and ammo shall be secured in a safe at all times.  (common sense)  The safe shall not be opened while her and the baby are in the house.  (What?)  Further, firearms in the safe shall be unloaded.  (You're kidding me.)  The other day we had a meltdown because I'd really like something other than my Maglite for home defense.  She found out that I had a rather large dive knife unsecured, and immediately started demanding that I lock that away in the safe, as well.  (Jeez Criminy, you're killing me here)  By unsecured, I mean placed inside a bookcase on the top shelf, inside the sheath. 

She doesn't believe in self-defense.  If someone breaks in, we should hop out a window and run to the neighbor's.  I try to respect her point of view, but I'm not going to be open-minded to the point that it jeopardizes the family safety. 

Quote from: antoinebugleboy on October 17, 2011, 08:37:41 AM

Growler: This isn't about the guns. It's not even about being right. Old Guy: That doesn't really help Cougar.

Marriage is tough. If you keep trying to browbeat your wife with logic, especially if she's more of an intuitive type, she'll feel helpless and come to believe she has no voice in the partnership. I've seen this too often with arguing couples, and because I'm a really, really left-brained, stubborn individual, I need to moderate this tendency myself. Sure, you're right ("You're always right."), but if you bully and berate (which is how she'll perceive it) instead of listening, understanding, persuading, and ultimately, if you have to, giving, if you forget that when you have something important to protect, it's not the protecting but what's important, you'll lose it and none of it will matter.

I'm sorry if I sound too much like frickin' Dr. Phil, but I'd hate to see someone's marriage crumble because he got swayed by a bunch of chest-thumping about gun rights on an internet message board.

It's not that I take too much intarweebs advice, I just vent on here to a sympathetic crowd.  For all you young bucks still dating a potential Mrs. Right, heed the warnings.  When we were dating the topic of guns came up.  I told her I had them, and I'd always have them, and as soon as I moved out of the barracks I was bringing at least some of them out here.  She told me she'd never had guns, never would have guns, and damn sure not in the house.  Rather than have a big scrap, we both shelved it, thinking, "Yeah, right.  Over my dead body, pal."  Now we're married and it turns out neither of us was kidding.   

And I'm not trying to force anything on her, either.  But I do chafe at the restraints she puts on me.  Namely, all guns and ammo shall be secured in a safe at all times.  (common sense)  The safe shall not be opened while her and the baby are in the house.  (What?)  Further, firearms in the safe shall be unloaded.  (You're kidding me.)  The other day we had a meltdown because I'd really like something other than my Maglite for home defense.  She found out that I had a rather large dive knife unsecured, and immediately started demanding that I lock that away in the safe, as well.  (Jeez Criminy, you're killing me here)  By unsecured, I mean placed inside a bookcase on the top shelf, inside the sheath. 

She doesn't believe in self-defense.  If someone breaks in, we should hop out a window and run to the neighbor's.  I try to respect her point of view, but I'm not going to be open-minded to the point that it jeopardizes the family safety.

Sounds like unmovable object vs. irresistible force. I don't know what else to offer but my sympathies. I hope the two of you figure something out.

[Sounds like unmovable object vs. irresistible force. I don't know what else to offer but my sympathies. I hope the two of you figure something out.

Yup, that's pretty much what it is.  I appreciate the sage advice and sympathies! 

Maybe this will convince her? 

Haha, I actually had an email typed up to send her, where I quoted Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, and MLK, Jr, but I said the hell with it.  I'm out of ideas, she's pretty dug in.  She did say she'd be willing to come to the range (although maybe not shoot), so I'll see if I can get her to do that, and see what happens from there.

Hang in there... and remember she's a woman where more often than naught, it's not reason, logic, or what is common sense that will win an argument... heck, "winning an argument" means LOSING just about 100% of the time for me.  But you know that already, and vent away... that's why we're here, I think.

Maybe this will convince her? 

I keep thinking Jesus can cheat... so instead of using a gun, he can make a gun shape with his hand and shoot lighting bolts out of it or something... that would be a picture I'd want to see!

Or, he can be annoying and do this:

Hang in there. Mine didn't get it for a while, one day I asked here what she would do if someone broke in the house and attacked her and I wasn't home to defend her. Things kinda changed after that.

Eliminate every possibility except for her getting attacked and needing a gun to stay alive or worse (the R word).   Worked for me.

what's worse is when the other half acts like they have interest in guns, then things change after the pair becomes serious. shortly after my brother got married, his wife was saying she didn't want him buying any more guns. next thing you know, he's buying stuff and hiding it from her. sad.

Hang in there. Mine didn't get it for a while, one day I asked here what she would do if someone broke in the house and attacked her and I wasn't home to defend her. Things kinda changed after that.

Eliminate every possibility except for her getting attacked and needing a gun to stay alive or worse (the R word).   Worked for me.

for me, this is the very reason i've learned to shoot. everyone is responsible for their own well being. i know my husband will be gone for long periods of time, so i'm prepared to protect myself.

I'm lucky that while my girlfriend doesn't see the appeal in real bullets, she enjoys precision marksmanship.
I just wish that I could show her my range toys without having them called an 'abomination of a rifle' 

On the other hand this means that I win points when I bring back a Daisy Avante or the like