Those 2 could use a lot more marching

What is she holding in her hand...?

One sunny day in January, 2017, an old man approaches the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He speaks to the U.S. Marine standing guard and says,

“I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”
...

The Marine looks at the man and says,

“Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here.”

The old man says,

“Okay,” and walks away.

The following day the same man approaches the White House and says to the same Marine,

“I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”

The Marine again tells the man,

“Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here.”

The man thanks him and again walks away.

On the third day, the same man approaches the White House and speaks to the very same U.S. Marine, saying,

“I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looks at the man and says,

“Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I’ve told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?”

The old man looks at the Marine and says,

“Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.”

The Marine snaps to attention, salutes, and says,

“See you tomorrow, Sir!”

Yeah whatever. This shit is still funny.

How convenient for lonely cat owners ....

obama 44 would be on a golf club

 

That's not stick, it's the round bally guy's  __  __  ___ !

  K3014

he charged him a arm & a leg to fix his smile?

My friend comes over and sees my dog licking its balls.

He says "I wish I could do that"

I said, you can try, but pet him first or he might bite you.

I think the return of the Winston Churchill bust to the Oval Office and Trumps recent sucking up to Great Britain is getting way out of  hand. Now he's beginning to look like the Queen.

Guy infront of me at rainbows drive in just tried to order

"One Large Mahu"

His friends recommended it to him.

he charged him a arm & a leg to fix his smile?

 

 

Patrick hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the rest of my life in bed having sex with me wife!"

And with that he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night.

In bed later that night, he told his wife: "Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said: "Aye, Paddy, what was your toast?"

So he told her: "Here's to spending the rest of my life sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh," she said, "that is very nice, dear."

The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking partners in the street.

Mischievously, the man said: "Did you hear about your husband winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you, Mary?"

She replied: "Aye, and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he's only been there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

Father O'Brien and Father O'Reilly, friends for life. went to the seminary together. When they graduated, O'Brian say to O'Reilly:
I bought this bottle of fine Irish whiskey to symbolize our long friendship. There will be a special occasion someday that will justify opening it.
Well some 60 years later, O'Reilly is on his deathbed and yes, O'Brian is at his side...
O'Brian say " dear father Patrick is there any thing I can do for you before you enter the kingdom of the lord"
O'Reilly, in a weak voice says "Shawn, me old and good friend, you know that bottle of irish whiskey we purchased to symbolize our friendship"?
O'Brian says "yes, Patrick
O'Reilly says "me dear Shawn, me thinks this is that "special" occasion. When I'm dead and gone, could you sprinkle the whiskey over me grave"
O'Brian, with tears in his eyes says "Aye Patrick, Aye but would yoou mind if I strain it thru me kidneys first"?
 

Back on May 9th, a group of  Pekin, Illinois, bikers were riding west on Interstate 74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge.  So they stopped.
 
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby, whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
 
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
 
While he didn't want to appear 'sensitive', George also didn't want to miss this 'be-a-legend' opportunity either so he asked...
 
"Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe, why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"
 
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that.  It was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
 
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,
 
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts.  You could be famous if you rode with me.  Why in the world are you committing suicide?"
 
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl." 
 
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
 
 

....
Re millenials video humor.
We just hired several over the past year.....

it's all true.

A friend had just gotten her CCW, when she was stopped for speeding by an Arizona Trooper.

When she handed him her driver’s license and CCW, she said: “I just got my CCW do you want to see my gun?”

He replied: “Don’t show me yours, and I won’t show you mine.”