This is Poppy, I bought her as a present for my wife as a birthday surprise last week.  Sadly it turns out that she has an allergy to dogs.

So it’s sad to say she has to go and hopefully someone out there may be able to give her a new home ....
 
Her name is Eileen, she’s in her 60's, good personality and not a bad cook.

Two 90-year old guys, Leo and Frank,

had been friends all of their lives.

When it was clear that Leo was dying, Frank visited him every day.

One day Frank said, 'Leo, we both

loved playing softball all our lives,

and we played all through High School.

Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's softball there.'

Leo looked up at Frank from his

deathbed and said, 'Frank you've been

my best friend for many years.  If it's

at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.'

 Shortly after that, Leo passed on.

 A few nights later, Frank was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, 'Frank... Frank!'

'Who is it?' asked Frank sitting up suddenly. 'Who is it?' 

 'Leo-- it's me, Leo.'

 'You're not Leo, Leo just died.'

'I'm telling you, it's me, Leo' insisted

the voice.

'Leo! Where are you?'

 'In Heaven,' replied Leo. 'I have some really good news and a little bad news.'

'The good news,' Leo said, 'is that there's softball in Heaven.      Better yet all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too.

 Better than that, we're all young again.

 Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows.

  And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.'

  'That's fantastic,' said Frank 'It's beyond my wildest dreams!

  So what's the bad news?'

 

 

 'You're pitching Tuesday.'

No dictionary has ever been able to satisfactorily define the difference between "complete" and "finished."
 
However, during a recent linguistic conference, held in London, England, and attended by some
of the best linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese linguist, was the presenter when he was asked to make that very distinction.
 
The question put to him by a colleague in the erudite audience was this:
"Some say there is no difference between 'complete' and 'finished.' Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand."
 
Mr. Balgobin's response:
"When you marry the right woman, you are 'complete.' If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'finished.' And, if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are 'completely finished.'
When the right one  is finally done with your sorry butt, you are "finished completely".
 
His answer received a five minute standing ovation.

 

Local guy goes for a job interview.
Talking total pidgin', the Haole boss doesn't think he's too bright.

So he decides to test bruddah.
He asks him to draw a picture that illustrates 9 without numbers.

Bruddah draws a picture and says tree plus tree plus tree is 9.
Boss says ok, now draw picture that's 99.

Bruddah scribbles on each tree.
Says dirty tree plus dirty tree plus dirty tree is 99.

Boss, a little flustered, thinks he has bruddah.
He says clever, now make it a hundred.

Bruddah thinks little while and draws the picture.
Boss asks what's that.
Bruddah says dirty tree and one terd plus dirty tree one terd plus dirty tree and one terd is hundred.

Boss hires bruddah.

Funniest thing ever

London, who is that guy in the memes?

London, who is that guy in the memes?

...
Gersh kuntzman
The guy that got ptsd after firing an ar15.

hes the guy that wrote this piece of crap
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/firing-ar-15-horrifying-dangerous-loud-article-1.2673201

Does he take acid before he does any and every activity?

Does he take acid before he does any and every activity?

do you understand sarcasm and satire?

do you understand sarcasm and satire?

Where on Google does it say Kuntzman is doing all these activities out of sarcasm?  Please post your sources!

 

If Fish Boy had a twin sister ...