Jokes? Jokes, anyone... (Read 635662 times)

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1140 on: October 11, 2022, 08:25:12 PM »
Was it old or current fashion? :wave:

I guess this would be in the "old" category.

Should have been a clue when I picked it out ....


The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1141 on: October 12, 2022, 03:00:39 PM »

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Rocky

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1142 on: October 12, 2022, 04:05:40 PM »


 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
“I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.”
                                                           Franklin D. Roosevelt

oldfart

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1143 on: October 13, 2022, 07:39:58 AM »
LOL
Loving those dad-type jokes. :rofl: :thumbsup: :shaka:
What, Me Worry?

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1144 on: October 18, 2022, 11:10:47 PM »
I've been trying to put together a team for this Hide-And-Seek Tournament, but good players are hard to find.

 :geekdanc:
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Rocky

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1145 on: October 19, 2022, 04:16:58 PM »
Job Security found at my dentist's reception desk.



“I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.”
                                                           Franklin D. Roosevelt

macsak

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1146 on: October 19, 2022, 05:12:36 PM »
#notarealdoctor

Job Security found at my dentist's reception desk.




Rocky

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1147 on: October 21, 2022, 05:35:16 PM »
#NotARealRoofer


“I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.”
                                                           Franklin D. Roosevelt

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1148 on: October 21, 2022, 06:26:02 PM »
#NotARealRoofer




They said "Fix the leak."

No more leak!   :thumbsup: :geekdanc:
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Rocky

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1149 on: October 24, 2022, 08:38:35 AM »
“I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.”
                                                           Franklin D. Roosevelt

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1150 on: October 25, 2022, 05:36:16 PM »
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1151 on: October 25, 2022, 06:00:37 PM »
What did the high school band director name his twin daighters?

Anna One
Anna Two

 :geekdanc:
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1152 on: October 25, 2022, 06:32:20 PM »
The Amazing Fernando was performing magic in Mexico City.

He performed his finale as usual counting "Uno! Dos!  ..."

But then he disappeared without a tres.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

oldfart

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1153 on: October 26, 2022, 08:52:59 AM »
What did the high school band director name his twin daighters?

Anna One
Anna Two

 :geekdanc:
====================

What, Me Worry?

Rocky

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1154 on: October 28, 2022, 11:36:45 AM »
    An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

    In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

    The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, '
No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
“I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.”
                                                           Franklin D. Roosevelt

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1155 on: October 28, 2022, 09:12:11 PM »
The next time someone comments on your "Dad Bod,"

Let them know you prefer the less offensive term:


Father Figure.


 :rofl: :geekdanc: :shaka:
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1156 on: November 01, 2022, 05:38:06 PM »
If you build a man a fire, you can keep him warm for a day.

If you set a man on fire, you will keep him warm for the rest of his life!

 :thumbsup: :geekdanc:
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Rocky

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1157 on: November 01, 2022, 07:49:14 PM »
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.  :)
Teach him to fish and he'll trash your  boat, your gear and drink all your beer !  :grrr:
“I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made.”
                                                           Franklin D. Roosevelt

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1158 on: November 06, 2022, 12:21:42 PM »
I read a really good article last week on improving my memory,
but I can't for the life of me remember what it said or where I saw it!   :crazy:


That reminds me, I signed up for a class promising to teach me to stop procrastinating.
I haven't gotten around to going yet.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Flapp_Jackson

Re: Jokes? Jokes, anyone...
« Reply #1159 on: November 09, 2022, 01:20:44 PM »
I dated a girl once who ordered escargot the first time we had dinner together.

The next 3 dates, she ordered escargot again and again.  The stuff isn't cheap, either!  Yet, she only wanted to go to restaurants that offered the dish,

So I finally asked, "What's up with the escargot?  Why do you like it so much?"

She said, "I'm really not that crazy about it, but my doctor advised me to stay away from fast food."

 :geekdanc:
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-- George Bernard Shaw