Knoxville, Tennessee (AP)-

In statement released on October 18, the international terror syndicate known as Cobra announced the successful implementation of Phase One of their newest attempt at world domination.  In a prepared statement, Cobra Commander, the officer in charge of the operation, said, "Today isss a great day, but we've sssstill got a lot of work to dooo.  Obviousssly, thisss isssn't the final goal; sstopping truckss at weigh sstationsss issn't going to do much.  But it'ss an important firsst sstep in acclimating the population to sstoping for TSssA checkpointsss.  Sssoon the sheeple will be ready for random sstopss on the highway, which will then allow uss to move to Phase Two, and from there, we'll expand to requiring travel papersss for all intersstate travel."

Destro, evil genius and head of Cobra, pioneered the idea of expanding the TSA's sphere of influence to all aspects of American life, but still remains humble.  "Honestly, this is nothing new or groundbreaking.  The Nazis, you know, they were good record keepers, and they left behind a ton of literature that has really served as an instruction manual of sorts for what we're trying to do.  Checkpoints on roads, overblown security concerns, pressuring the public to inform on their friends and family; it's all been done before.  I'm really quite surprised that none of the other evil geniuses out there didn't think to follow these steps.  I guess I can take credit for that  much, at least.  I've always been able to learn from the successes and failures of others." 

Although she has worked closely with both Cobra Commander and Destro in bringing this newest evil plot to fruition, TSA head Janet Napalitano was unavailable for comment, but her spokesman responded via email:  "Ms. Napalitano is very happy that the plan is working so well, and is enjoying her close working relationship with senior members of the Cobra organization.  She approaches each day as an opportunity to grow and become a better evil mastermind; she really feels like she's learning at the feet of the masters."

I wish I was joking.  Well, I am, sort of.  The TSA really is rolling out highway checkpoints, to add to their impressive (horrifying?) list of achievements, which already includes airports, train stations, and a failed attempt at patting down nubile, innocent, young high school students at prom.  (Big Sis was heartbroken)  Now they're bringing their Cobra-inspired VIPR teams to Tennessee highways.  Boy, oh boy.  Someone, somewhere, is cutting George Orwell a big, fat, royalty check; courtesy of the US taxpayer.

Read the news story here.

COBRA!!! Man, I want Orange camo, riot shields and a sweet  bullpup SMG, with rifle scope and grenade launcher.

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Coug, you forgot Torpedo aka Edward Leialoha. Born in Aiea, Hawaii. Larry Hama is the man!

I had that one when I was a kid! (the Alley Viper figure)

Coug, you forgot Torpedo aka Edward Leialoha. Born in Aiea, Hawaii. Larry Hama is the man!

Nice!  I didn't even realize there was a local bruddah in GI Joe! 

Couldn't tell from his awesome pidgen on the TV show?