Get here a wheel gun. Wife had same concerns....likes to shoot semi autos, but concerned about something not going right when/if it goes down. Got her a ruger LCR in .357mag, pretty mindless. No safety, double action (good trigger I might add), no hammer to snag on anything, good ergonomics. Loaded it up with .38 special +P speer gold dots. Getting her some speed loaders and will work her up to .357 mag later.
Voodu-
That might be worth looking into. We didn't want a compact, because Hawaii doesn't yet and may never freely allow conceal carry. And knockdown factor is a concern too. I work construction and see a lot of guys strung out on various things and so I really worry about my girlfriend. Our dogs will do anything to protect us, but against an assailant high on drugs and armed with a knife they are only likely to slow him down long enough so she can get to the gun. The .38 +P is supposed to be a good self defense round. She wanted a semi-auto because that's what a friend of ours told her is best. But like you guys said a wheel gun maybe the way to go.
I wish I had more money to buy two or three different guns and then sell off the ones that didn't work for her. After talking to Daniel at KGS we may do his handgun safety class to try out his HK's and a few others. Last time I talked to him he said he had an FN 5-7 he was going to test and review. That's my good friend from Alaska's daily carry and what he swears by. Hopefully I can get some trigger time on that bad boy if we do take his class. If my gf's hands weren't so small, that is what I would buy because it's easy to shoot due to the small amount of kick. The only problem is the grip is so big because the 5-7 round is actually a small rifle round.
As to that rear safety thing on the XD's I its guess more of a personal preference and frame of mind thing. If for some reason my girlfriend or even myself are ever in an awkward postition, like for example pinned on the bed or ground in an attempted rape where she can't get the needed grip but can still pull the trigger without injuring herself... you can see where I'm going. The operator needs to be the one responsible for safe gun handling.
Kala - I have pretty small hands/short fingers. I've been using a Sig P220 in some form or another for a good long while. I too need to shift my hands on the handle to get a better finger placement on the DA pull. SA is OK. So anyhow, I've been looking at different handguns recently as well and finally settled on a full sized 1911 in 45 (single stack) as, believe it or not, the grip is actually pretty small in comparison to other pistols. I had tried my friend's M&P 45, but I just didn't like how it felt...........both the trigger pull and the snappiness of the recoil.
My friend still has a M&P 9 mm that he changed the trigger out and changed the recoil spring on too. It is a completely different gun. Trigger is much better and the (heavier) recoil spring has tamed down that perceived recoil. So much so that I'm actually considering buying one (although I do love my 45 acp guns).
With regards to that FN. I haven't held one in a long time, but I don't think the handle is all that big. The round if you compare it side by side with other pistol rounds is actually not that large.
The recommendations:
Beretta 92 - nice pistol. You still need to transition from a DA to a SA pull. As with all semi autos it's going to take more practice to become proficient as compared to a wheeled gun. For a beginner I'd opt for a wheeled gun.
S&W M&P 9 - nice pistol. Very good as you can change the grip panels to accommodate different hand sized. As with other polymer framed guns you can also shave them down, stipple them, etc. Very flexible.
Glocks - don't know much about which model is which, but I'm sure there's one out there that would suit her needs.
H&K P30 - nice pistol. Very pricey compared to the M&P and Glocks.
Springfield XD - don't know much about these at all, but I hate the grip safety in addition to the trigger safety. I think it's overkill and not in a good way.
Magazine safeties - some pistols out today have magazine safeties. The gun won't fire without the magazine in. I think that's foolish for a SD firearm to have. I strongly suggest whatever you get to make sure that the gun doesn't have this feature.
S&W M&P 340 CT:
http://www.smith-wesson.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Product4_750001_750051_765780_-1_757783_757781_757781_ProductDisplayErrorView_YPricey, but if you are looking for a SD firearm, then IMHO you should be willing to pay several hundred dollars more. I'm not advocating this particular model, but more the features it has. Small grip, Crimson Trace laser, 357 mag allows extended practice with 38 spl and shorter practice with the magnum rounds, internal hammer (no worries about snags). It's a revolver so as a new shooter won't have to worry about more complex clearance under stress that can happen with a semi auto. Unlike a semi auto you could actually reliably fire several rounds while still having the firearm in a jacket pocket. One more thing to think about.........if it will be used for carry, then weight will be a huge concern. It's not going to be fun to shoot a lightweight, but you probably wouldn't have to do that, but you would need to carry it a lot and that would be a greater factor IMO.
Lots of stuff to think about. Even more so if you intend for this to be a SD gun for your gal. If it's a range/plinker, then not so much thought is required. In any case with most things firearms related it will be a compromise. Main thing is you are aware of your choices and what they mean when you make your decision.
I really should start another thread for this but I was wondering how many of you have a full size airsoft replica of your primary handgun? My neighbor is originally from Washington state where he has his CCW card. His carry gun is a 92FS. He has an airsoft version of that gun which he uses to practice drawing from holster, presentation of gun and firing. He said while you don't get the full 100% experience you do get a the feel of things like "I can't wear that its hard to draw" or "I don't like my holster here, lets try this". And then you also get the chance to develop muscle memory because the more expensive ones have all the same controls and lockback after firing the last BB and one can practice keeping track of how many rounds fired when doing tactical reloads. This maybe something I do too depending which gun we end up getting.
Your friend makes good sense. I have an airsoft Sig P226 that I use as my counterpart to my actual Sig P220 Elite primary. I have an airsoft 1911 5" that is the counterpart to my full sized 1911 that I intend to switch over to as my primary this year. I have a Blackhawk Serpa holster for the Sig as well as a Comptac. I've got some Raven holsters on order for the 1911's. I've been lazy and need to work on getting a target set up so I can shoot my airsoft pistols inside my house.