Try to keep them clean if you can. I’ll start with a couple.

There once was a young man from Boston
Who used to drive round in his Austin
He had room for his ass and 5 gallons of gas
But his balls hung out so he lost them

There once was a young lady from Brewster
Who dreamt that a man had seduced her
Alas it was a dream, she woke with a scream
It was a lump in the mattress that goosed her

This limerick isn’t a stretch.
It’s about an unfortunate wretch.
A werewolf pursued him.
How did he elude him?
He threw it a stick and yelled, “Fetch!”

This one is from an old Rusty Warren Song:

There once was a woman from LeBlatt
Who had triplets named Tom, Tit and Tat
It was fine in the breeding but worse in the feeding
When she found there was no tit for Tat

Is anyone here old enough to remember Rusty Warren? Knockers UP!

There once was a man from Peru
Who fell asleep in his canoe
While dreaming of Venus he played with his pen-s
And woke with a hand full of goo

 

Old mother Hubbard
Went to her cupboard
To get her old dog a bone
But when she bent over
Rover took over
And gave her a bone of his own...
 

There once was a man named Cass.
He had to big balls of brass.
And in stormy weather,
They clung together,
And lightening shot out of his ass.

 

A young man named Marty O’Doul
Found a red ring on his tool.
He went to the clinic,
Said the doctor, a cynic,
Wash it off, its only lipstick, you fool!

 

There once was a young lady from Excitor
And all the young men threw their sex at her
Just to be rude she lie in the nude
While her parrot, a pervert, took pecks at her

Here's to the girls that say they do
And then they say they don't
Here's to the girls that say they will
And then they say they won't
Here's to the girls that I like best
And you may think I'm right
Here's to the girls that say they won't
But with me they say they might
 

Limerick on a headstone.....

Here lays the body of Paddy O’Frick
The only man born with a corkscrew dick
He searched the world over from pole to pole,
Looking for a girl with a corkscrew hole.
When he found her, he just dropped dead,
Because her snatch had a lefthand thread..... 

There once was a man from Bel Air
Who was doing his wife on the stair
But the banister broke so he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid-air

There once was a man from Bel Air
Who was doing his wife on the stair
But the banister broke so he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid-air

Good one!

There once was a hooker from Vale
On her chest was tattooed the price of her tale
And on her behind, for the sake of the blind
Was the same information in Braille

 

There once was a hooker from Vale
On her chest was tattooed the price of her tale
And on her behind, for the sake of the blind
Was the same information in Braille

 

Oh well....

 

The weird thing about this one is I remembered it in a dream!!! 

Oh well....

I love a good Limerick!!!

Oh well....

Your meme reminded me of this one:

There once was a young lady named Jill
Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina in North Carolina
And her tits ended up in Brazil

I love a good Limerick!!!

Me too! Here is an old one that me pappy used to say...

Oh damn the man, with his pecker in his hand
Who pissed on the shitter seat.
He balls should be smashed and his pecker slashed,
And his ass kicked out in the street.....

Me too! Here is an old one that me pappy used to say...

Oh damn the man, with his pecker in his hand
Who pissed on the shitter seat.
He balls should be smashed and his pecker slashed,
And his ass kicked out in the street.....

That’s a real good one!!!