Has anyone noticed that lately a lot of people don't bother to acknowledge a courtesy? A couple weeks ago a woman wanted to pull out of a driveway into heavy traffic and no one was giving her a break. As I approached, I gave her space and flashed my lights. She pulls out and no wave of the hand or Shaka. No acknowledgment or Shaka sign is given by at least half the people who I give an opening to pull in front of me or make a left turn.  Today I held the door open for a guy who had his arms full of packages at the Post Office and he didn’t even say boo. Then I remembered, Mahalo died early last year after a prolonged illness, not long after her brother Kokua. May they both rest in peace.

“Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.”

― Robert E. Howard, creator of Conan The Barbarian

Yes, most of the time! I usually give a loud "Your welcome!" When holding doors open.
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Yes.  It is happening way to often nowadays and I'm afraid it will eventually be the normal.

But I continue to extend courtesies, mainly as respect for myself and is in the on-going process of learning to not let their rudeness, obnoxiousness, motha-f**kn piece of sh*t a$$hole behavior affect me in any way.

But apparently I'm not doing so well in this area.

I pick and choose.

I live in an area infested with pushy mainland tourists.  They frequently piss me off.

In traffic, I will let others blend in with traffic, or slow to let them make a left turn.  If I recognize them as local drivers.

I pick and choose.

I live in an area infested with pushy mainland tourists.  They frequently piss me off.

In traffic, I will let others blend in with traffic, or slow to let them make a left turn.  If I recognize them as local drivers.

Anyone driving a convertible Mustang, garans not local. 

I don't let the bad manners of others dictate to me how i act around others.

Teach through example.

When I was little and out shopping with my mom, she always stayed close enough to keep an eye on me.  She made sure I would hold doors for her and other people, would use please and thank you / sir and ma'am when talking to clerks and cashiers, and would offer to carry her packages.  Basically, I was corrected enough times that I learned what was expected of me.

When I was about 16 or 17, I was working on a Saturday morning at this ice cream and dairy plant.  The owners are rarely there for more than a quick minute on the weekends, but that morning one of the two brothers/owners was there.  The plant doesn't usually operate on the weekend -- just the ice cream retail store run mostly by high schoolers.  His office was in the very back of the facility, and the retail store was in the front.

An older lady called and asked to speak to my boss, so i found him at his phone lines and transferred the call.

Enough time passed that I completely forgot about the call -- nothing memorable about answering the phone.  Then the owner walked in.  He said the lady that called couldn't compliment me enough for my manners and customer attentiveness.  This was in the early 80s, so I guess good manners and poor customer service had already begun to be the norm. 

I told him that's just how i I was raised.  Not sure if he realized, but my grandmother worked in the same plant with his father decades before.     

Whenever i see bad manners and an empathetic attitude toward others, i just chalk it up to bad parenting.  Nobody learns how to be that way.  They just never learned any other way.

You have to take into account there’s massive cognitive dissonance going on. Life gets worse and worse while people are watching their friends and family drop dead with no explanation.

It’s not the usual kind of advice you find on these sort of forums, but try and lead by example. The world needs less assholes and that starts with you and me.

Has anyone noticed that lately a lot of people don't bother to acknowledge a courtesy? A couple weeks ago a woman wanted to pull out of a driveway into heavy traffic and no one was giving her a break. As I approached, I gave her space and flashed my lights. She pulls out and no wave of the hand or Shaka. No acknowledgment or Shaka sign is given by at least half the people who I give an opening to pull in front of me or make a left turn.  Today I held the door open for a guy who had his arms full of packages at the Post Office and he didn’t even say boo. Then I remembered, Mahalo died early last year after a prolonged illness, not long after her brother Kokua. May they both rest in peace.

I wonder if tint has anything to do with it. It seems more and more cars have stock tinted windows, the type where the tint is in the glass and not a film. I often wonder whether someone can even see me wave when the let me in or if my hand wave is obscured too much by the tint.

Maybe tint might obscure a Mahalo in some cases, but I am talking about where I can clearly see the other person.  I notice that in heavy traffic and you want to change lane on the driver side, putting down your window, sticking your arm out and giving a shaka works every time. If you want to change lanes on the passenger side and you have a passenger,  have them do that.

Generally, I noticed the "aloha spirit" is gone.  Workers in Vegas often have more aloha than the ones here.  Guess it comes down to a entree level job in HI, you need 2 jobs to pay the bills. So they're tired and grouchy.

Where in Vegas, only 1 job is needed to pay the bills.

Mrs. CMO who travels all over the nation also said it's like this in many other states too.

[snip]

Guess it comes down to a entree level job in HI, you need 2 jobs to pay the bills. So they're tired and grouchy.

[snip]

As opposed to an appetizer or dessert level job?