https://www.kitv.com/news/police-search-for-suspects-involved-in-chinatown-machete-attack/article_089662f4-4924-478a-aa07-5a640a7f4746.html

"Machete is very common weapon. You know, drug dealers, homeless, they use it for protection," said Chu Lan Shubert-Kwock, founder of the Chinatown Business & Community Association. "That's why we need to really address the drug problem."

Despite the city installing dozens of cameras and businesses investing in their own surveillance systems and security teams: "A lot of it, you know, it goes unreported because the mentality now is in Chinatown, is why bother calling if nothing's going to be done? So when you do call, they get arrested and the next day they're out," Long said.

Oahu, you voted for this.   And if you're not gonna bother to call because you feel nothing's going to be done, then STFU and enjoy the ride.

https://youtube.com/shorts/P3afQzB4e70

Machete battles in the streets!  Law abiding citizens battling homeless and criminals!

The machete is legal to own but guess who ends up arrested.......   (especially in hawaii.)

meanwhile....
https://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/2026/01/08/suspect-brandishes-machete-flees-moped-after-robbery-kapolei/

And a baseball bat attack
https://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/2026/01/09/man-arrested-bat-attack-outside-maui-target/

And the some dude with a gun getting (maybe) shot by the cops on Maui
https://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/2026/01/09/police-investigate-officer-involved-shooting-maui/

But just remember

“Crime is down”

Someone needs to use AI and start overdubbing these trailers in Pidgin.

It's basically Oahu on a Thursday

In the past:  "Hawaii no ka oi"........


In the present:  "Hawaii no ka.......oh shit!!!!"

Check, clean, and oil your machete daily, boys.

and another
https://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/2026/01/09/investigation-underway-armed-robbery-using-machete-kunia-walmart/

this is an 'epidemic'

Dear HPD police officer.  If someone attacked you with a machete, what would you do?  You know what you would do.  On the side of your hip is something the rest of us don't have.

And for the few that did go through the endless maze jumping through silly hoops of bullshit, they have to bust out a legal manual of what can do and what cannot do before they can use the thing that is the same as the one you have on your hip.

And even then most likely they will be the ones scrutinized for criminal behavior.

Because after all, a gun is evil.  And a machete is for gardening.  That's why the perp was carrying it to Walmart, the Bank, at bus stops, etc.  Because you know, never know when they need to cut some branches or clear out brush.

Dear HPD police officer.  If someone attacked you with a machete, what would you do?  You know what you would do.  On the side of your hip is something the rest of us don't have.

And for the few that did go through the endless maze jumping through silly hoops of bullshit, they have to bust out a legal manual of what can do and what cannot do before they can use the thing that is the same as the one you have on your hip.

And even then most likely they will be the ones scrutinized for criminal behavior.

Because after all, a gun is evil.  And a machete is for gardening.  That's why the perp was carrying it to Walmart, the Bank, at bus stops, etc.  Because you know, never know when they need to cut some branches or clear out brush.

It's a jungle out there!   

It’s ok guys.

They are “concerned”

https://www.kitv.com/news/crime/safety-concerns-on-oahu-grow-from-rise-in-machete-related-crimes/article_8c613aed-95db-4e0f-af22-801a477a05a3.html

It’s ok guys.

They are “concerned”

https://www.kitv.com/news/crime/safety-concerns-on-oahu-grow-from-rise-in-machete-related-crimes/article_8c613aed-95db-4e0f-af22-801a477a05a3.html

"It's pretty threatening.  I mean, machetes can do some serious damage".

WTF.  Gotta be the most stupid remark of the year so far.  And the year is young.  Some other stupid doozies are sure to follow.

I like how that Smith guy finishes the article by saying you do what you gotta do to defend yourself.

Oh yeah?  Then allow me to carry without all the fuckin restrictions, fees, and hoops that we have to jump through.

It's important to stay vigilant.  "You have to do what you have to do to defend yourself, but as much as possible, just try to stay away and don't engage and find a safe escape route," Smith added.

Think that's code for carry a gun.

Whats funny is the comments on the medias and SSH social medias are blaming green for legalizing machettes to be carried. Which that wasn't the law that passed.  Machettes have always been legal to carry as it's not a "deadly or dangerous weapon", it's a tool.

"My name's Rocky…and I’m here for Milwaukee!"

https://www.kitv.com/news/crime/robbery-suspect-charged-after-machete-incident-at-kapolei-home-depot/article_63d312ae-9cb3-430a-bd2c-eb7de46d8812.html

And another one last night.

22yo man chopped up a 30yo victim pretty good. He survived but it required ALS.

The cops don't usually do attempted murder because they've been instructed to manipulate the crime statistics, so this one must have been particularly nasty.

https://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/2026/01/15/man-arrested-alleged-attempted-murder-victim-serious-condition/

I’m downtown/Chinatown pretty much every day.

All I can say is that I’m a whole lot more relaxed and easygoing with my .357 on me.

A whole lot more.

“first-degree attempted assault”

https://www.kitv.com/news/man-charged-following-machete-attack-in-honolulu/article_e177467e-bc32-43f9-93f8-fbb202d9176c.html

Found this deadly weapon across the street.