This is good to know as I didn't know this. I was asked to join a frat, but was lightly informed of the process (hazing) and said no. I'm not down with participating in that just so I can be part of a frat/make friends. Nothing else was explained to me, so my only XP is what I saw on TV/internet. The draw in was "hey, join our frat if you like to party and wanna get laid".
The partying aspect is not as bad as most think. Yes, there is drinking. but you're around your frat brothers who'll keep an eye on each other and take care of you if you over indulge. I saw just as much partying or worse in the dorms.
As for getting laid, being in a frat doesn't make you more attractive. You're going to be out in the clubs and concerts looking for that anyway if that's your thing. What frats do offer is more opportunity to meet girls when a frat and sorority has a mixer where one group is invited to a party at the other's house. Opportunity to meet someone doesn't mean you're automatically going to have sex. That still depends on whether you find someone at the party and are mutually attracted.
The clubs downtown were more of a "meat market" than the frat parties I went to. The thing the mixers provide is a chance to talk to people you ordinarily wouldn't. Then later, when you happen to have a class with them, you can continue to get to know each other if desired.
I met my future wife in the ROTC offices. She was 2 years ahead of me, so in different ROTC classes. We happened to have German language classes together, and just being acquainted from ROTC meant we weren't randomly striking up conversations with classmates we didn't know.
Frats and sororities work similarly. Again, they aren't all the same, but for the most part, you aren't doing anything you wouldn't do in other settings.
Hazing is against campus policy. If you get caught you can get expelled. If it's a frat-initiated activity, the charter can be revoked. Too many students have been injured or killed as a result of hazing. If anyone is doing it, it's at great risk to the frat's existence on campus.
Having said that, some forms of hazing are perfectly fine, like having a pledge book signed by every current brother and maybe finding out which of them has a certain fact in their background -- requires you to get to know them. During "Hell Week," you might be required to dress a certain way for a day (as a baby or opposite sex) or other semi-humiliating tasks. For initiation, there may be some more of that, but the line between doing those types of things and activities that can hurt or kill is a bright one. The whole point to this is realizing that everyone who pledged before you also went through the same thing. It creates memories and shared, adverse experiences meant to create bonds. It also means you get to do the same for up to 7 more pledge classes. Having been through it yourself, you know it's more about the positive results and not the humiliation in and of itself.
I'm not generalizing, but rather sharing my own observations and experiences. It doesn't take much these days for a frat to lose the privilege of being on any given campus.
Animal House should have also driven that point home pretty well.
One of the biggest selling points to joining is the fact you're part of a national organization. running into another person later in life who happens to have been in the same fraternity is like someone in Hawaii meeting someone who graduated from your high school. You already have something in common to talk about.