"If you refuse to fight someone who wants to kill you, it's not called "peace". it's called "surrender.""
That's a too simplistic summary of things. If everyone did what you believe, everyone will eventually kill each other in the end.
"No matter what the US does, Iran will not "normalize diplomatic relations." They are an ideologically based society run by a religious leader. They chant "Death to America" and Death to Israel". They publicly call for the complete destruction of the state of Israel. They invade their neighbors with force to take what they have (review the Kuwait invasion by Iraq). No matter how much "trade" we have with them, they will never accept the US as worthy of respect.
Israel is the "Little Satan". America is the "Great Satan".
Change their minds? Good luck."
I think you are mistaken on the wars that Iran has participated with other internationally recognized sovereign countries. It was Iraq that invaded Kuwait in 1990 by the way, not Iran. Once more, it was Iraq with the support of the US that invaded Iran during the 1980s.
As for the ideological differences that you state would not allow Iran to ever accept peaceful coexistence with the US, why does not those same ideological differences hamper Iran's peaceful trade and coexistence with OTHER INFIDEL nations like SUNNI Turkey, Russia, China, India, Germany, Taiwan, South Korea, etc.?
Could it be, the mischief and covert actions by the US and Israel against Iran, as the reasons why Iran and her people say the things they do?